


Creeque Alley

by sinoftheday (itsthedetails)



Category: Veronica Mars (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2005-10-26
Updated: 2005-10-26
Packaged: 2017-10-24 03:20:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 10
Words: 27,163
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/258354
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/itsthedetails/pseuds/sinoftheday
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What happens when you NEED to be saved.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

  
In the weeks after school ended she pulled away from everyone. She just couldn’t talk to anyone. It was like it was physically impossible. She made the pretense of Weevil kicking the crap out of Logan her reason for not speaking to him. She told Wallace she just needed some time to process everything. Duncan she had to flat out tell him she did not want to date him again. Ever. It was harsh, but he just wasn’t taking a hint. Her father probably would have noticed her dark mood, but he was still in the hospital recovering and she put on a much better act when she visited him.

The only person she wanted to talk, the only person who might have had a chance of righting her, didn’t want to speak to her. Logan packed up right after his last final and took off for places unknown. However, if Logan thought he could disappear completely and she wouldn’t find a trace, he completely underestimated her. She knew he was in Mexico and that was enough for her now.

She still called his cell, mostly late at night. She begged him to call. She got angry with him for taking off. She apologized for everything. Finally, his mailbox was full. She kept trying though. She needed to hear his voice. She wanted him to talk to her, even if it was to argue. He never returned any of the messages.

Eventually, the number was disconnected.

Veronica spent her days on her couch. She cuddled up with Backup and watched television, well stared at the television. She would often catch herself on the Korean channel, too bad she didn’t speak Korean. Nights were harder. She didn’t understand why it was easier to sleep during the day. She could sleep all afternoon, but as soon as she lay her head down at night it was as if her eyes were permanently open. She spent nights on her computer; the internet was a grand invention. She spent hours posting on message boards, reading peoples blogs. There were some really nutsy people out there. She found a whole community of people who thought they were actually vampires. They really freaked her out.

It was almost the end of July before she realized she couldn’t put Wallace off any more, phone calls just weren’t going to do it anymore. Wallace was forcing her to go to the beach with him today. Just what she wanted to spend the day around tons of people.

When Wallace knocked on her door she was just about ready, she was digging around on her desk looking for her sunglasses. ‘Bingo’ she thought when she found them. She opened the door and found Wallace in a swimsuit and a beater.

“I’m ready to go” Veronica said trying to sound cheerful; she shouldered her beach bag and put her sunglasses on.

“Whoa, girl, hasn’t anyone been feeding you?” Wallace asked shocked at how thin she looked.

“What do you mean?” Veronica asked. She looked down. She looked fine, didn’t she?

“V, you’re like skin and bones. Look. Your shorts are practically falling off of you.” He pointed at the waist of her shorts that sat dangerously low on her hips. Veronica glanced down quickly.

“These shorts have always been big. I’m fine, now are we going or not?” Veronica made it clear she did not want to discuss this.

Wallace didn’t push; he hoped it was enough to get her out of the house.

Putting on an act all day for Wallace was hard. It never used to be hard to have a conversation with him, they just would talk. Now it was a hardship to come up with more than one word answers for him. Eventually, it got so awkward; she just wanted to go home.

Veronica had no problem sleeping that night, keeping up appearances is tiring, in fact not only did she sleep through the night, but she slept the entire next day.

She must have really freaked Wallace out. He called more times than she could count, she just couldn’t bring herself to answer the phone. Late the next night she sat in her darkened room staring at her computer screen. She was reading about Janie’s first week at her new job and her boring meathead boyfriend. Who knew that some chick in Iowa had so much to say about working at Wal-mart? The soft ding signally that she had email sounded. Veronica clicked on the new mail and read quickly. She finally got what she was waiting for. One of her fathers’ contacts had gotten her Logan’s new cell phone number.

She immediately grabbed her phone, but stopped before dialing the number. What was she going to say that she hadn’t already said? If he didn’t return the calls before what made her think he’d return then now? What was the line from that song ‘Sometimes love just aien’t enough?’

For days after she got the number she stared at. She doodled it everywhere. Sometimes she actually even dialed it; she could never hit the send button though.

At some point Veronica realized she hadn’t left the apartment in days. She stood in front of the mirror; she could see her hip bones jutting out prominently. The skin over her ribs and collar bones seemed to be stretched way too thin, it was practically translucent. That’s when the thought came to her. Maybe she was fading away.

It became an obsession with her. She knew she was eating, it couldn’t be that. She stood in front of the mirror more than she ever had before. Looking, hoping to see some sign that it wasn’t all an illusion.

These became Veronica’s days, sleeping, staring at a phone number and staring in the mirror. Sadly, even the internet couldn’t hold her attention any longer. It was two weeks after the day at the beach that she realized she started talking to herself. Having entire conversations with Logan, working out what she would say to him if she called. Then having conversations as if he’d come back, if he were there right now. Sometimes she told him she was sorry, sometimes she told him how she had wanted him to come back, she always told him that she loved him.

One night, really early morning, she stood naked in front of the mirror. Her bones seemed to be pushing through her skin. Her blue eyes seemed gray and flat, she ran a hand through her hair and more than a few strands easily came free. She leaned closer to the mirror; she saw the revelation in her eyes. ‘This is what happens. This is what happens when the other half of your soul doesn’t want to have anything to do with you.’

“I’m fading away.”

She thought she would cry. She wanted to, she tried to force herself to; tears just wouldn’t come. Maybe her body just couldn’t produce them. As she lay curled up under her covers she made a decision. She had to call, whether he wanted to hear her voice or not. What else could she do? This was killing her.

She dialed the number and hit send. It rang once, twice, three times then it went to voicemail. She listened to the automated message and waited for the beep.

“Logan? It’s Veronica. I don’t know who you’ve still been talking to here. If they told I’m fine, their lying. I need you, you left and maybe your fine, but I need you. I can’t beg or be angry anymore. Logan I need help.” She paused, “I’m fading away.”

Her voice was nothing more than a whisper and it cracked several times. She knew she sounded desperate. She didn’t care.


	2. Creeque Alley

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What happens when you Need to be saved

  
The morning sun crept across Logan’s face. It was his own natural alarm clock. He flipped over onto his back and stared at the ceiling. Despite being early morning the air was already heavy with humidity. He rolled off the bed and stumbled into the bathroom. He splashed cold water on his face and the back of his neck. Back in his room he changed into his swimsuit.

He stood in the doorway of the small house he was renting and he stared out at the horizon. This is what he loved most. Not a soul on the beach, crystal clear water for miles, he’s sure he could spend the rest of his life here. The waves are breaking beautifully in sets of four with the second wave being the best. He grabs his surfboard and makes his way across the sand.

He breaks through the water and smoothly slides onto his board. He paddles out, flips his board around and sits up. It is a much different view looking inland than it is facing out towards the ocean. He can see his little house off to the left; there are a few more homes in both directions up and down the beach. He’s sure people inhabit them, but he’s never met them. The people that are in these houses are here for a reason, a reason that has more to do with staying lost than being found.

Logan looked over his shoulder to see a new set rolling in. He let the first one pass, bobbing high when it rolled through. As soon as it passed he lay flat on the board and began paddling hard. The second wave was close behind him, chasing him. At just the right moment he sprung up and in a moment landed on his feet finding balance. He rode the wave, the water surrounding him, propelling him forward. It was as if he were weightless suspended between the atmosphere and earth. His ride ended and he immediately paddled back out again.

Logan surfed all morning. It was a release for him; maybe he could pioneer a new form of therapy, surf therapy. Or maybe he would just keep it to himself. Logan was sitting on his board bobbing up and down waiting for the next set. He stared down into the water. The sun was pounding down on his shoulders and reflecting up off the water. He could see through the crystal clear blue only so far, he couldn’t quite make out the bottom. A thought lodged in his head, ‘What is deep down that he can’t see?’ Pictures of all sorts of sea animals swimming just out of sight cascaded across his brain; he lifted his feet out of the water and placed them on his board in front of him. He looked left, and then right, nothing. He chuckled to himself and shook his head. ‘This is stupid.’ He saw a decent sized wave heading towards him he plunged his feet back into the water and took off.

Logan reached land and headed in for the day. He rationalized that having such strange thoughts couldn’t be good when you’re all alone out in the ocean, but maybe he just did not want to admit he was a little afraid of what was hiding under the surface.

Logan propped his board up against the house, grabbed a bottle of water out of the cooler and collapsed into the hammock that was on his small porch. A slight breeze blew through as he drifted off to sleep.

When Logan awoke he could not believe he had slept for so long, thank goodness he had been in the shade or he would have had one hell of a sunburn. He sat up, his skin feeling tight with the dry crust of salt from the ocean and ran his hand through his hair. He needed a shower.

Twenty minutes later he was sitting on his couch reading. Most people would scoff at the idea of Logan Echolls reading for pleasure, but just because he acted like a Neanderthal at times didn’t mean he doesn’t enjoy a good book. He was just about at the prison break in The Count of Monte Cristo when he noticed a flashing light out of the corner of his eye. He looked right and finally saw the blinking green light on his cell. He reached over to grab it, ‘Who the hell called me?’

“You have one new message. Message left today at 4:22 AM. Logan? It’s Veronica. I don’t know who you’ve still been talking to here. If they told I’m fine, their lying. I need you, you left and maybe your fine, but I need you. I can’t beg or be angry anymore. Logan I need help.” She paused, “I’m fading away.”

Logan saved the message and punched in Veronica’s number, but before the call connected he snapped the phone shut. Veronica sound terrible, he’d never heard her sound so broken. Nothing he could say over the phone would fix that. He grabbed his keys and dashed out the door, a tight feeling growing in his chest.

He could be in Neptune by night if he drove straight there. Logan gunned the engine and pulled onto the dusty road that lead away from his peaceful little existence and brought him towards the girl he left behind.

Until he hit the highway the drive had been bumpy and slower than Logan had hoped for, as soon as hit smooth pavement he hauled ass. When he crossed the border he made a quick pit stop for coffee. Despite what most of the people he left in Neptune thought, he had not spent the weeks since school ended drinking all day and fucking all night. The fact of the matter is he hasn’t drank all that much since moving down to Mexico. He’s not going to lie and say alcohol has not passed his lips, but really he only has a couple of beers here and there. As for the women, he hasn’t touched another girl since Veronica. He’s not entirely sure he ever wants to.

Veronica. He thought it would be easier to block his thoughts of her. However, she’s all he ever thinks about, dreams about. In fact, as crazy as it sounds, the reason he left was because of her. Not in the way one might think though. It’s the truth in the beginning he was pissed that she thought he could have killed Lilly, that she turned him in to Lamb. But when it comes down to it roles had been reversed and he found evidence that Veronica had killed Lilly he might have turned her in.

He had so many reasons for walking away from her. He thought she would be better off without him. He only brought her trouble. She thought she was a train wreck, he was the real wreck. His mother had killed herself, leaving Logan feeling so abandoned. His father who never gave him much actually sunk lower by not only murdering Lilly, but trying to kill Veronica and her father. How could she ever look at him and not see his father and flames? He couldn’t bear the thought of looking into her eyes and seeing fear.

Well let’s face it Logan himself was not exactly the most well adjusted stable person around. He would never be able to live with himself if he turned out to be nothing more than what everyone said he was; nothing more than the son of murderer, a jackass, someone who doesn’t care for anyone, but himself. He didn’t want to hurt her. Maybe he wouldn’t have hurt her right away, but how could he take the chance of hurting her in the future?

In reality, whatever excuse he had whatever reason he could give when it came down to it he left because he was afraid. He was afraid for Veronica, he was afraid of himself and he was afraid that he couldn’t be the guy Veronica needed. It was better to leave before they got in too deep; before he had the chance to really hurt her. He guessed he was wrong.

Once again he acted without thinking of all the consequences. When Logan didn’t return all the messages Veronica left before he drove out of Neptune. He figured she would get over him and move on. If Veronica could call and bitch him out on his voicemail she was fine. Apparently, Logan had no idea what he was talking about. She sounded awful on her message. He was actually worried he was too late to help her. And what the fuck did it mean ‘She was fading away.’

Logan had entered the boundaries of Neptune and was only a few minutes from Veronica’s apartment complex. When the familiar building came into view his breathing increased exponentially. He pulled into the parking lot and jumped out of the car. He was standing outside the door, it was time to face his fears, face head on whatever was hiding below the surface in the depths of the crystalline waters.


	3. Creeque Alley

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What happens when you NEED someone to save you.

  
Logan knocked on Veronica’s door and waited. It was late, but he knows she is probably still awake. Logan tried to peek through the cracks in the blinds, but he couldn’t get more than a glimpse of the apartment. He knocked again. He’s worried that she isn’t answering the door. He saw her car in the parking lot, she should be here. The way she sounded on her message is echoing in his ears and he makes a decision. He takes off the button down over-shirt he’s wearing wraps it around his arm at the elbow and breaks the small pane of glass nearest to the door handle. He reaches in careful not to cut himself unlocks the door and opens it.

Before he can close the door over he hears a noise behind him. Backup is standing halfway into Veronica’s living room growling at him. ‘Damn Veronica and her attack dog!’ Logan doesn’t move he holds his arms out in front of him and very slowly kneels down to the dog’s level.

“Hey boy, you remember me right? Logan. Veronica’s friend. Come on boy.” Logan spoke in soft tone hoping that Backup really wasn’t a man killer. Backup slowly walked towards Logan sniffed Logan’s outstretched hand and obviously recognizing him began to nuzzle up against him. The dog then grabbed onto the bottom of Logan’s shorts and pulled him in the direction of Veronica’s room, whining.

Logan followed Backup into Veronica’s room, the dog sat next to Veronica’s bed pushing at the small lump of covers at the edge of the bed. “She’s bad, huh boy?”

Logan stepped closer seeing Veronica’s face, he barely recognized her, her skin had a sallow look to it, “Veronica?”

**************

Her eyes fluttered open to look in the direction of the voice calling her name. She heard it again louder this time and she opened her eyes fully.

She saw Logan standing there looking down at her. She realized that she was having another one her delusional visits with Logan, but she told herself she wasn’t going to hold conversations with an illusion anymore.

“You’re not real. Go away. I’m not talking to a product of my imagination anymore.”

The Logan-apparition asked her what was going on. “You left me all alone. I needed you and now you keep walking in and out of my bedroom late at night. If I keep talking to this illusion my mind has created I might just fade away into an illusion too. Is that what you want, for me to join you?”

She stares at the Logan-apparition, it looks confused. It asks her a question again, ‘What do you mean you are fading away?’ She’s mad now. Usually she’s the one doing the talking in these little walks she takes on the outskirts of crazy-town. She flips the covers off her body and swoops her hand down in a small flourish, “This is what I mean. I’m fading away.”

The Logan-apparition stares open-mouth in shock. He’s across the room in a moment grabbing her arm and taking in her emaciated frame. The contact hit her like a ton of bricks and electrified her skin. This wasn’t an illusion, it was real. Logan was really here in her bedroom.

“Logan?”

**********

Veronica had been talking to him like he wasn’t really there and it was fucking with his head, but when she sat up and threw back her comforter he saw her body. She was so thin. She looked sick. ‘God what did she do? What did I do to her’ He was standing next to her in an instant. Looking at her arm, at her ribs through her tank top, her once toned and muscled thighs were like twigs sticking out of her shorts. What was worse; is when he looked in her eyes the once bright blue had faded to a washed out gray and there was no spark, no life in them.

When he touched her he knew she had finally realized that he was really there, “Oh Veronica! What is wrong? What happened?” He wanted to hug her, but she looked so fragile. He was afraid he would break her. ‘Too late, I think I already broke something inside her.’

It was irrational, he knew, but he really wanted to sit her in the kitchen and feed her a big meal, like steak and mashed potatoes with gravy and biscuits, lots of bread. They were trapped in this staring contest. Finally he repeated his questions squeezing her shoulder lightly for emphasis. She looked at her shoulder like it had just detached with her arm from her body and was floating away.

*************

Veronica pulled her eyes away from her shoulder and the hand that lay there and looked into Logan’s face. “I can’t believe you’re here. Why are you here?” Her voice was catching in her throat as she fought back tears that she was finally able to produce. He told her he got her message and that she had scared him. So he came right here. He also told her he needed to know what was going on with her. He made a small joke about wanting to feed her.

She was ecstatic that he was here but at the same time annoyed that he only came because she had scared him with her message. That wasn’t her intention. She wanted him to come because he needed her as much as she needed him.

“Logan I eat, this isn’t from not eating. I eat, trust me. This isn’t some game I’m playing. I’m… well I don’t know what I am, but this is happening because I needed you. I needed to talk to you. I needed help in straightening everything out in my head that had happened and you were the only one I wanted help from. I needed you to make me feel they way you make me feel, alive, electric, loved. I haven’t been able to come to terms with anything because you are part of me now and if your not here how can I fully heal. You left without a word and it felt like you took part of me with you. I was half of myself and the only thing I could think about was that you really didn’t feel the same way about me that I felt about you. You once told me that all you cared about was me and I thought that had changed. I thought you didn’t care about me anymore and it hurt so bad, because all I care about is you.”

She looked at him for a long time before continuing. She didn’t want to yell or be mad, but he had to understand that he had become a part of her life whether he meant to or not and he couldn’t just expect her to forget that.

“After you left I just… I don’t know I didn’t want to hang out. School was over and my father forbade me from doing any detective work. Everyone looked at me concerned, like I was a fragile doll not to be played with. I couldn’t talk to anyone for real. I couldn’t tell Wallace what was really going on in my head. I wanted to tell you. You get me in a different way than he does. And Duncan forget it, he was creeping me out, showing up wherever I went. I sure as hell wasn’t going to tell him anything.” She let out a sigh and took in a deep breath, it was cleansing, like it was the first real breath she’d taken in months.

She looked down at her hands; she was twisting them in her lap and then looked back up into Logan’s eyes. She saw a mixture of concern and fear and maybe just a hint of love?

“I don’t know what is wrong with me. I noticed it a few weeks ago. No matter what I eat I’ve been losing weight. I thought I was going crazy. That I was just seeing it and it wasn’t really happening, especially since I had been talking to myself as well, but I finally realized without you here I’m missing a part of myself and I cannot function without you here. I love you too much.”

Finally, she stopped twisting her hands and reached out tentatively with one and took Logan’s hand in hers. She smiled, looking relieved that she’d found solid flesh. She nodded at their hands entwined, “I had to be sure.” She didn’t let go.

*************

Logan held her hand tight wanting to reassure her he was really here and really not going anywhere. He couldn’t understand how this could have happened to her. Veronica was strong. It was one of the many things he loved about her. She had lived through Lilly’s murder, all the stuff with her dad, her mom leaving, all the shit he put her through and a rape. He guessed everyone had their limitations though.

“You know Veronica I do care about you. I, uh, I love you. If I had known you were feeling like this, that you were going through this I would never have left. I thought you would be better off without me. Look at all the havoc that my dad has caused. I didn’t want you to have to deal with anymore. I was… I was afraid of hurting you, of being like him, of not being what you needed. I thought if I avoided you and spent the summer away you’d move on and we would both be better off.” Still holding Veronica’s hand he kicked off his flip flops and positioned himself next Veronica.

He wondered if he was ever going to make a right decision. Avoiding her was the wrong decision, leaving Neptune had been wrong too and avoiding his fears had definitely been wrong. He promised himself here and now he was only going to do right by Veronica from now on. He didn’t know how to get her out of the funk she was in or if he could make her see that she was strong enough to do it herself, but he did know that he could tell her he loved her and he would be there as long as she would have him.

Logan told himself he left Neptune because Veronica was better off, but he actually was afraid to see that there was another reason, one that had more to do with him than her. In reality he was just plain scared. He was afraid things wouldn’t work out. He was afraid she wouldn’t really want to be with him, no one else had, not Lilly or Caitlin. He was afraid when he told her he loved her that she wouldn’t say it back.

Logan came back tonight not just to help Veronica, but to face his own fears. He knew that he was ready now and he wanted to face whatever lay ahead with Veronica.

***************

They sat in silence for quite a while taking in what each had said. It had been a long night and just being near each other was making both of them feel so much better.

Logan finally broke the silence. “Veronica there is so much we have to talk about, but maybe we can just sleep tonight and start fresh tomorrow? We have more issues than Time magazine we can’t fix everything in one night and I’m so tired.” It was the truth and they both knew it. There was so much between them and one night of talking and exchanging ‘I love you’s’ was not going to fix everything. It was a start, but there lay a long road ahead of them.

“Of course, tomorrow is a good and now that I have you here I’m not letting you leave again, so we’ve got nothing but time,” she smiled at him still holding his hand tightly.

Logan made a move to stand and get off the bed. Veronica pull on him, “Where are you going?”

“Well I thought I would sleep on the couch.”

“Sleep on the couch? Have you seen my couch? It’s tiny; you’ll be seriously hurting tomorrow. Sleep here with me.” Logan looked at her slightly wary.

“Logan it is fine. I swear. I won’t take advantage of you.” She made an X across her heart and held up her hand. He chuckled at her gesture. She scooted over in the bed making room for him. He took off his t-shirt, hung it over her chair and got into bed with her. She snuggled next to him and he wrapped his arm around her. They both drifted off to sleep, faint smiles on their faces.


	4. Creeque Alley

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What happens when you NEED someone to save you.

Logan woke up still smiling the next morning. He reached out feeling for Veronica she was no longer wrapped amongst his limbs. He felt further out until he realized she was no longer in the bed. He sat up more awake and looked around her room. He noticed the door to the bathroom was slightly ajar and as he moved closer toward it he heard a muffled sniffling floating towards him. He peeked around the door and saw Veronica sitting on the edge of the tub crying.

Logan pushed the door further open and kneeled down in front of Veronica. He pushed her hair out of her eyes and lifted her chin to look into her eyes.

“What’s wrong? Are you okay?” He asked concern in his eyes.

Veronica wiped tears from her cheeks and took a deep breathe. “It’s just I’ve been hoping for the last month for you to come back and now your actually here. Everything that I’ve been thinking and feeling is all jumbled in my head. And while it is really great that you’re here I don’t know how to pull myself out this hole I’m in.”

Logan settled himself closer to Veronica and took her hands in his. “Veronica I haven’t deluded myself. I know just because I’m here doesn’t mean you will magically be better. And just because I’ve acknowledged my fears about who I could be and about being in a real committed relationship doesn’t mean they’ll just disappear either. We both have work ahead of us. I know though that if we work on this together then we can get through this together.”

Veronica saw the sincerity in Logan’s eyes and a little bit of her tension and worry lifted. If neither of them deluded themselves as to how hard it would be to fix themselves it was the best start they could have.

Logan got up off the floor and said “Why don’t you take a shower. No offense Ronnie, but you look like you could use one.” Logan laughed at the look on her face and tried to twist out of reached when she smacked his arm.

“Get out of here. I’ll be out in a few minutes.” Logan turned and left at Veronica’s order as he heard the water begin to run for the shower.

He headed to the kitchen and poked around in the refrigerator. He found some eggs and a package of English Muffins. He started breakfast for the two of them. Logan wasn’t much of a cook, but he could fry a few eggs and toast an English Muffin. He was busy with the eggs when Veronica appeared in the kitchen. She began scooping coffee into the coffee maker when she said, “What do you think? I’m in fresh clothes and everything,” as she pressed the start button and then twirled to show off that she’d actually dressed in something other than pajamas.

“Well, well Ms. Mars it is good to see you haven’t forgotten good hygiene habits. Do I have to check if you brushed your teeth and combed your hair?”

“Ha, ha very funny Logan. Just because you’re the King of Hair Gel does not mean you get to make fun of me.” Veronica said as she put out plates and silverware. Logan was pouting as he slid an egg onto half a muffin, placed a slice of cheese over it and closed the other part of the muffin over it. Finally, Veronica bit, “What? What is with the pouty face?”

Logan handed her a plate. “I use styling balm, not hair gel. Hair gel makes my hair all crunchy.” There was silence for a moment until Veronica threw a dish towel at Logan and they preceded to chase each other around the island. Finally, they stopped and sat to eat.

Logan had enjoyed hearing Veronica laugh, he had a feeling she hadn’t done that in a while. They ate breakfast and cleaned up the kitchen. “I was thinking I’ll take a quick shower and then maybe we could walk on the beach with Backup? Unless you have something you need to do.” Logan asked.

“No, that sounds fine. I just have to make my daily phone call to my dad.” Veronica gestured to her phone and Logan headed to the bathroom.

Veronica was a little frightened to call her father. She didn’t want to tell him Logan was back right away. She knew her dad had suspected her recent mood had a lot to do with Logan. So she wasn’t really sure how he would react to the news that Logan was not only back, but staying at the apartment. She picked up the phone and dialed the number for the rehab center.

Her dad answered on the second ring. “Hello Veronica.”

“How did you know it was me?”

“Honey you call me at the same time everyday. Of course I know it’s you.”

“So how was PT today?” Veronica asked waiting for confirmation her dad was doing well.

“Good. I’m up walking around. It won’t be long now before I’m home.” Keith paused for a moment before continuing. “Veronica, are sure you’re alright in the apartment alone? You know Alicia and Wallace would love to have you.”

“Dad, I’m fine here. I like being here. Don’t worry so much.” She said with false cheerfulness. “I’ve got to go. I’m taking Backup down to the beach. I’ll talk to you tomorrow. Bye. I love you.”

“Bye, love you too, honey.” Veronica hung up the phone and stared at it before Logan’s voice brought her out of her thoughts.

“So you ready to go?” Logan asked while leaning against the wall of the hallway. Veronica looked up at Logan; it brought a smile to her face to see him in her apartment. She thought today was going to be okay.

Down at the beach they played with Backup. It was fun to see Logan roll around in the sand with Backup, especially when Backup chased him into the surf. They ate lunch at a more secluded area of the shore and sat in the warm sun soaking up its rays. They ended the day with a long walk. Logan took Veronica’s hand. He thought that moments like this were what people lived for, everything around them disappeared only the two of them existed and there was no need for words. They could feel what the other was thinking. _Yeah these are the moments you remember forever._

When they got back to the car Logan asked “Do you want to go eat somewhere? We can go anywhere you want.” And just like that the bubble burst. He felt her retreat, pull away. “What? Why'd you do that? I felt it Veronica. Just tell me what’s going on in your head. Or else nothing will change.”

Veronica looked over at him for what seemed like quite a bit of time. “I’m not ready, for dinner out. Today, this, the beach, was wonderful, but I just want to go home now. You're not mad, are you?”

Logan laughed, “Of course not. See you just have say what you’re feeling. You’re not ready for a full day out. It’s okay. We’ll get take in.” He gave a quick smile, turned the key in the ignition and drove back to the apartment.

When they returned to the apartment Veronica laid down to take a nap. Logan told her he was going to make a quick trip to his house to get clothing and pick up dinner.

He made his trip quick; he didn’t want people to know he was back in Neptune yet. He and Veronica needed sometime to work stuff out and if people knew he was back they’d be all over him. Dick would want to hang out and surf. Duncan, well he’s not sure if Duncan would want to hang out, but he didn’t want him around Veronica. From what she had told him Duncan had crossed over into full on stalker mode. It was better this way for now. He pulled into the back parking lot of the apartment complex, grabbed his duffel bag, the box of food and headed inside.

Backup greeted Logan at the door. He looked at the door and reminded himself to have someone come and fix the broken pane of glass tomorrow the piece of plywood he’d placed over the opening just wouldn’t do. Logan put the food on the counter and made himself comfortable on the couch. He hoped Veronica wouldn’t sleep much longer. When he couldn’t find anything good to watch on television he picked up her laptop.

He started by checking his email, no big surprise only emails from Dick and Beaver. He was reading about surf boards when an ad along the side of the page caught his eye. It made mention of weight loss, fatigue, excessive sleep and a bunch of other things. He clicked on the ad and began reading. He was lost in thought when Veronica finally emerged from her room. She sat next to Logan on the couch. “Why didn’t you wake me when you came back with the food, it must be cold by now.”

“It’s fine I’ll heat it up. I was busy reading. I’ll heat the food, you read this.” He handed off the laptop to her and headed into the kitchen. He busied himself in the kitchen as Veronica read. He heard her gasp a little in surprise.

“Logan this sounds like me. I mean some of the stuff at least.” He looked at her across the room. “I know.”

She put the laptop on the table in front of her and sat back in thought. Logan looked back again when he heard her sniffling. “What’s wrong,” concern laced in his voice.

She wiped the tears from her cheeks, “Nothing. I’m just…” she trailed off. “I’m not crazy.”

Logan looked at her confused, “What are you talking about?”

“I thought I was nuts, thinking I was actually fading away. That my mind was playing tricks on me and making me see myself fade away. Then when you saw it too I thought well, I don’t know what I thought, but this is a reason. A reason other than my being crazy as to why I feel the way I do, why I’ve been the way I am.” Veronica jumped up from the couch and went to Logan, hugging him tight.

“You’ve only been here a day and you’re already making me feel better. I may never let you leave.” Veronica buried her face in his chest and listened to his heart beat.

“Veronica, you don’t have to worry about me leaving. The only way your getting rid of me is if you toss me out and even then I’ll still be right outside your door. I’ll live in a tent on your porch if I have to. I chose you when we were twelve. Neither of us may have known it consciously then, but it’s the truth and don’t ever doubt it.”

Logan finished putting the food out and they ate in silence for a little bit. “You know just because we read one site about depression, doesn’t mean we’ve fixed anything. Maybe… maybe we should find you someone who knows about this stuff, someone you can talk to.”

Veronica put down her fork thinking about what he said. “My dad suggested I see a therapist a little while back, but I just don’t know if I can talk about everything with a total stranger. I know some people find it easier to talk to someone on the outside, but I’m not sure I can. Maybe we can just see how things go. If I don’t feel different soon I promise I’ll talk to someone. Okay?”

“Okay, but I’m going to hold you to that. And we can do some of the things the website talks about, having a routine, not letting you spend excessive time asleep, exercising, changing your eating habits.”

Veronica looked offended, “There is nothing wrong with my eating habits!”

Logan looked at her like a petulant child, “Eating like a pound of pasta and..” he checks the bag in front of him, “and six garlic knots cannot be the greatest of diets.” Veronica grabbed the bag of knots away from him and held it to her chest protectively. “There are a lot of things I’ll do, but if you try to take my knots away from me you’ll be seeing a side of me you will not like.”

Logan couldn’t hold his laughter in any more and he busted out laughing at her sitting there holding tightly to a bag of garlic knots. She held on for another minute before joining him in the laughter. When it finally subsided he told her “Okay, okay I give. You don’t have to give up the garlic knots.”

With that she reached into the bag and pulled out another knot and bit into it a big smile painted across her face. When it came to food Veronica always got her way.

The pair snuggled on the couch and watched television until Veronica feel asleep in Logan’s lap. He brushed the hair back from her face and gently stroked her cheek. _She is the most beautiful woman on Earth._

He gently lifted her in his arms and carried her into bed. It is amazing how she can be so content in her sleep. None of her pain even evident on her face as she sleeps.

He brought his duffle in from the other room and changed into a pair of mesh shorts he liked to sleep in and slipped into bed. He pulled Veronica close against him breathing in the scent of her shampoo. Veronica awakened slightly and turned to face him wrapping her own arms around Logan. She smiled at him and placed a soft kiss on his mouth. Logan ran his tongue along her bottom lip and she opened her mouth to him. He deepened the kiss and their tongues explored each others mouths.

The kiss finally broke with each gasping for air. Before either had time to think they were on each others mouths again. Logan’s hand brushed down her side and over the exposed skin of her lower back. Her skin heated at his touched and he pressed her closer to his body. He moved from her mouth placing small chaste kisses across her face, jaw and down her neck. He found the sensitive pulse point at the base of her neck and teased it with his tongue. The gasp that escaped past her lips when he began sucking that spot drove him on further.

Veronica’s hands were not stilled. She ran one hand through his hair and the other across his already bare chest.

While he worked his mouth, his hands slid up under her tank top. He found her nipples already pebbled. He pulled away for only a moment to lift the tank up over her head. He wanted to bring his mouth down over her nipple, but she pulled him in for another air depriving kiss. Their bare skin pressed together practically created sparks and he moved down to tease her nipple. He swirled his tongue around it first and flicked at it. Then lightly took it between his teeth and pulled slightly. Veronica whimpered a little when he let it go, but them he bit down firmly and she let out a small growl.

Not to be outdone Veronica licked against Logan’s neck. She pushed hard up against him her thigh pressing against his cock and rubbing slightly. His breathe ragged and his hand foregoing caressing her breast traveled further south, over her ass and stroked her inner thigh. Still sucking on his neck Veronica bit hard at the juncture of his neck and shoulder.

Logan’s whole body jerked as fire spread through his veins. He swiftly moved on top of her his fingers sliding under her shorts and bypassing her wet panties. His finger pressed against her clit and spread her open. He flicked her clit and her hips bucked up against his hand. His palm pressed against her clit as his fingers worked into her opening.

Her breathing was ragged and she couldn’t think about anything accept what Logan’s hand was doing to her. She searched out his mouth and kissed him hard. Her body was writhing under Logan with want. Logan pulled his fingers from and she moaned at the loss.

He slipped his thumbs into the waist of both her shorts and underwear and pulled them off, tossing them to the side. His breath caught in his throat at the sight of her. _She is gorgeous._ Frozen for only a moment, Veronica took the opportunity to stroke her hand over his cock. She didn’t want to be the only one naked and divested Logan of his shorts and boxers.

Logan was back against her immediately. His fingers moved inside of her and his thumb worked against her clit, stoking a fire that was burning in her. She cried when he removed his fingers yet again, but it was swiftly replaced with his tongue. His tongue seeks out her hardened nub and takes it in his teeth. He uses his tongue to flick lightly and moves to press inside of her, he hits that spot.

“Oh God! Logan!” She wants to scream out more, but she can no longer form words. He replaces his tongue with his fingers again and his tongue swirls around her clit. Both tongue and fingers move together in tandem.

Just when she can’t take it anymore, her leg jerks involuntarily, her back arches and she explodes under him, seeing stars. Logan slowly brings her down with a gentle touch and sweet caresses.

He kisses her lightly and she can taste herself on his lips and as she begins to focus again she can feel his hardness pressing against her thigh. Veronica runs her hand over his shoulder, down his side, over his hip, encircles his cock and gently squeezes.

“Fuck!” Logan arched his back and threw back his head in pleasure. She ran her thumb up the underside of him and gently stroked. She enjoyed seeing him like this, seeing that she could make him feel as good as he made her feel. She wrapped both arms around his waist pulled him down on top of her and rolled so now she was on top, in control.

His brown eyes turned black with lust at her show of dominance. He leaned up to kiss her, but she put her hands on both his shoulders and pushed him down. She shook her head at him and her eyes sparkled with something wicked. She kissed and licked her way down his chest past his navel and over his hip bone. She lifted her head and saw that just at that moment Logan realized what she was about to do.

She’s not really sure were it came from, but she looked deep into his eyes and then winked. She licked up the underside of his penis. Her tongue circled the head and then she took him in her mouth. Her tongue played with him and as her mouth moved up and down her hand gripped his shaft and moved in time.

One thing Veronica did learn from listening to Lilly talk endlessly about all things sex was how to give good head and while she hadn’t done this often she knew she did learn from the best.

Her free hand ran up Logan’s inner thigh, his body shuddered beneath her and he moaned her name. He was getting close; she quickened her stroke and sucked ever so harder. Her free hand still resting on his upper thigh massaged his balls and squeezed.

“Fuck! Veronica! Fuck!” His voice was raw and his hands fisted the sheets under him.

A few more good strokes and he came. She sucked him until he was dry and then she swallowed.

His body reverberated with satisfaction, hers echoed with the same resonance. She lay across his body content to never leave this place. Logan ran his hand lightly up and down her back and she shifted to smile up at him; he returned her lazy smile.

“Veronica?”

“Hmm.”

“Where did you learn how to do that, well like _that_?” Logan questioned still feeling really good.

Veronica smiled an evil smile at him, “I can tell you, but are you sure you want to know.”

He watched her eyes glittering with amusement at his question. _Do I really want to know?_

“Umm, I’m not sure anymore.” He trailed off.

Veronica moved up his body a little further placing her lips next to his ear. He could feel her soft breath against his neck as she whispered, “Lilly taught me.” His eyes popped open wide. _Of course Lilly would have._ Veronica giggled uncontrollably at his realization that his old girlfriend had instructed his new girlfriend on such matters.

“I really wish I had never asked.” His voice was lost though under Veronica’s giggling.


	5. Fic - Creeque Alley

Logan woke up the next morning feeling different from the previous morning. Veronica was wrapped around him breathing evenly in her deep sleep. He shifted to spoon her, pulling her into him tightly. He buried his face in the back of her neck and brushed a light kiss on her nape.

Veronica stirred slightly then snuggled deeper into Logan’s embrace. “Come on baby, wake up. We can go to the beach again today. It’s beautiful beach weather.”

Logan nuzzled her neck and gently teased the shell of her ear with his tongue. “Come on sleepyhead. Wake up.” He whispered in a sing song tone.

Veronica rolled away from him and curled into herself. “Mmm I just want to sleep a little longer,” she mumbled never opening her eyes.

Logan wanted her to wake up so they could spend the day together. However, he hesitated to push her and decided instead to let her continue sleeping. He got himself up and wandered into the kitchen. Back Up trailed behind him and sat patiently by the door.

“Hey boy, you need to go for a walk?” Logan looked at the dog almost expecting an answer. Instead he found Back Up’s leash and the yellow pages. He quickly skimmed through and found someone to call about fixing the glass on Veronica’s front door. He made the call, then hooked the leash to Back Up’s collar, and headed out the door.

Logan walked with the dog longer than he planned. He found it oddly comforting walking with the dog, like he was walking with someone, like Back Up was a real person. He thought that maybe he would get a dog of his own. Back Up would have someone to play with and he would have a dog to talk to. Logan checked his watch and swiftly turned to head back to the apartment. The man coming to fix the door would be there soon and he hoped Veronica would be awake.

***

As Logan walked back to the apartment he could see in the distance someone knocking on Veronica’s door and looking in the window. He thought the glass repairman was early and called out to him.

As he and Back Up got closer he could see Wallace knocking on the door. Wallace turned at the sound of Logan’s voice.

“What are you doing here? And where’s Veronica?” Wallace asked standing crossed armed in front of the door.

Logan didn’t want to argue with Wallace, who obviously was holding a grudge against him. “Look, she called me. She sounded bad, Wallace, really bad. I came right away. I got here two nights ago.”

Wallace still refused to relax. Standing in front of Logan, Wallace looked like he wanted plant a right hook on Logan’s jaw.

“Come on just let it go for now, please. I left. I was stupid. You can bitch me out all you want another time. Right now though if your standing out here that means Veronica still hasn’t gotten out of bed. Truce?” Logan extended a hand to Wallace, who reluctantly shook it.

Logan moved around Wallace to open the door. Back Up went straight to Veronica’s room, leaving the two boys standing in the kitchen.

Wallace looked down the hall towards Veronica’s room “How bad is she really? I keep calling and she keeps blowing me off. I haven’t seen her in weeks. Her dad is really worried and it’s not helping his recovery knowing she’s like this.”

Logan ran his hand through his hair. “God, Wallace it’s bad. I showed up here. She looked like she hadn’t gotten out of bed in days. She is literally skin and bones. Yesterday was a good day. I got her out of the house. She was smiling and laughing, but this morning she could barely open her eyes when I tried to wake her. And she’s still in bed at 11:00am. She never sleeps in.” The worry Logan had been shielding from Veronica spilling out.

Wallace turned to head into her room. “Come on we’re gonna get her out of that bed if we have to drag her,” determination filling his voice.

Logan stood still though, “No wait, what are we going to do; drag her out of bed and do what? She still needs help, a lot more than you or I can give her. I tried to suggest to her yesterday to see a therapist, but she doesn’t want to. We need more than just us yelling at her to get through to her.” Logan paused. “You said her dad is worried about her. I think I should go talk to him. Maybe he can do something to convince her.”

Wallace thought about what Logan had said, looked back down the hall and relented. “Fine, you’re probably right anyway yelling at her isn’t going to change anything. What do you want me to do?”

“Stay here with her. If she actually gets up don’t tell her where I am, make up something, but do not let her know I went to see her dad. Oh, there’s a guy coming to fix the door. Let him do whatever he has to do and tell him to send me the bill.”

Wallace looked at the door again. “What happened to it?”

“I had to break it to get in here the other night. I banged on the door, but she was in bed. Her message freaked me out so bad I broke it to get to her.” Logan shrugged his shoulders like there was nothing else he could do.

  
On the drive to the hospital Logan thought about Veronica. Yesterday had been such a good day, he and Veronica had talked, they’d gotten out of the house and they’d briefly forgotten about all their issues. Today was a whole different story. Veronica was sleeping the day away, which he knew was not something she would normally do. The problem was he didn’t know what to do to help her and he was really scared for her.

He remembered how she used to be, sharp and so alive that energy practically oozed from her. The Veronica back in that apartment wasn’t even a fraction of the person she used to be.

The more he remembered how Veronica used to be, the more he realized that he deserted her when she needed him the most and he was kicking himself in the ass for ever leaving her.

***

When Logan arrived at the hospital, he sat in his car for a few minutes. He didn’t know how Keith would react to him being there. The last time he saw Veronica’s father, he was running across the beach yelling at him to get away from his daughter. He hoped Keith would forgive him.

Logan approached Room 1117, the door was closed, but the name on the door said ‘Mars.’ He paused briefly then knocked on the door. He waited to enter until he heard, “Come in.”

Logan held his breath for a moment, pushed the door open, and went into the room. He looked around the room nervously, unsure of what to expect. The room was pretty bare, only a few machines and a television mounted on the wall.

Logan stood near the far wall afraid to get too close before he could gauge the situation. “Uh, hi, Mr. Mars. It’s, um, Logan.”

If Keith was surprised to see him, he didn’t show it. Evenly, Keith asked, “So, Logan. When did you get back? What are you doing here in my room?”

Keith may not have actually voiced it, but what he was really asking was ‘Have you done anything to my daughter? And if you did I will kill you.’ Logan tried his best to sound sure of himself. “Uh, well, Veronica called me the other day. And she sounded um…” How did he tell her father she sounded totally desperate? “She sounded upset, so I came to see her.”

The room filled with silence. Keith finally let out a sigh. “She’s bad isn’t she? Logan don’t lie to me.”

Logan heaving a heavy sigh, “Yeah, Mr. Mars she is. She hasn’t gotten out of bed yet today and she so thin. She’s lost so much weight. I don’t know what to do. I should have never left. She wouldn’t be like this if I hadn’t treated her the way I did. I was just scared. I’m so sorry.” Logan didn’t mean to tell Keith everything he had been feeling, but it came tumbling out. He kept talking, really rambling out of fear. “I didn’t know what else to do. Wallace came by the apartment this morning and wanted to drag her out of bed, but I don’t know what that will solve in the long run. So he’s there with her now and I came to see you.”

“First of all, Logan, this is not your fault. Whatever Veronica is going through has to do with a lot more than just you. Whether you stayed or left this still would have happened. I knew she wasn’t feeling well, but I’m stuck here in this hospital and I let myself believe her.” An air of guilt hung between both Logan and Keith; again it was Keith who broke the silence.

“Did you say Wallace came by the apartment this morning? Logan, are you staying in my house?”

Logan’s stomach dropped out from under him. Keith may still be in the hospital, but Logan wouldn’t put it past him to find someway to hurt Logan if he knew he was sharing a bed with his daughter.

“I’ll take your silence as a yes.”

Logan cut in before Keith could continue. “I didn’t want to leave her alone. I…”

This time Keith cut Logan off, “Stop I want you to stay there and keep an eye on her. You’re right she shouldn’t be alone, but we’re going to play a little game. You’re going to tell me you sleep on the couch and I’m going to pretend to believe you. Okay?”

“Sure Mr. Mars, no problem.” Relief flooded through Logan. He wouldn’t have to worry about being castrated while he slept, at least right now. “Mr. Mars, I really think she needs to see someone, a therapist, but when I suggested it she shot down the idea. What do you think I should do?”

“I don’t know Logan. I just don’t know, but I think you and Wallace need to get her out of that bed. I don’t care how you do it, just get her up.” Keith paused. “I do know what you could do for me though. She hasn’t come to see me in over two weeks, she calls me, but she hasn’t come to see me. Can you bring her to see me? I miss her.”

“Of course, I’ll get her here tomorrow if I have to carry her, anything else?” Logan was trying to be as helpful as possible. He guessed Keith could tell when he responded sarcastically.

“No, that will be all Mr. Haskill. See you tomorrow.” Keith laughed as Logan turned red with embarrassment.

***

Logan left the hospital with a new determination. He felt better knowing Keith knew what was going on with Veronica. Now he had to go home, get her out of the bed, and to admit that she needed to see a doctor.

Logan arrived back at the apartment to a freshly fixed door and a worried Wallace sitting on the couch.

Without even a hello he asked, “She’s still not out of bed yet?”

Wallace shook his head, “No.”

“Come on get your stubborn face on we’re getting that girl out of bed.” Logan said as he stormed down the hall.

Wallace jumped up and followed Logan to Veronica’s room.

Logan shouted orders to him. “Open the shades and turn on every light in the room.”

Logan pulled the comforter off Veronica and tossed it aside. She rolled over and through half opened eyes stared at him

“Come on baby it’s time to get up. You’ve been sleeping for too long.” Logan sat on the bed next to her and shook her a bit.

“No, I’m too tired, just let me sleep. Please.” The desperate tone in her voice caused Logan to pause for a moment, but Wallace was there to push him on.

“Don’t let her get to you, man. She needs to get up.” Wallace said as he moved to stand behind Logan.

“Get up Veronica. Look, Wallace is here,” still trying to coax her from the bed.

Veronica rolled away from them and tried to burrow into herself.

Wallace grabbed the pillow from under her head and got rid of that too. “Come V. Get Up!” Wallace was much more firm than Logan had been.

Still curled in a ball, she whimpered a bit, “Please just leave me alone. I just want to sleep.”

Logan was faltering. He couldn’t handle hearing her so despondent and hopeless. He looked to Wallace, “Maybe we should let her sleep after all.”

Veronica took the opportunity and rolled back towards him taking his hand, “Yes, just let me sleep Logan. Just let me sleep.”

Logan realized she was playing on his emotions and he wasn’t going to let her get the better of him. He pulled his hand from hers, “No. Veronica. Get up, now!”

She pushed Logan away from her and curled into herself once again.

Logan turned to Wallace again, pointing towards the bathroom “Turn on the shower, as cold as it goes!”

Logan picked up Veronica to carry her to the bathroom. She began to fight him, hard. Her legs kicked at him and her small fists hit his chest. “No, please, no! Put me down! Put me down! Logan stop it! Put me down! Please, please!”

It was difficult getting her into the bathroom. She was fighting him so hard, but he didn’t care. Wallace had the water running at full blast. When she saw the water running she only screamed louder and kicked out at Wallace, almost getting him in the gut.

“Stop! What are you doing to me? Stop! Logan, please, no!” Veronica screamed, anger and desperation coloring her voice.

The bathroom was too small for all of them with Veronica flailing about so Wallace moved to the doorway. “How are you going to get her there? She won’t go willingly.”

Logan didn’t answer him. He gripped Veronica tighter and stepped with her, securely wrapped in his arms, into the shower. The water was ice cold and Logan grimaced when it hit him. Veronica on the other hand let out a high pitch scream. Her scream cut Logan, but he knew it was for the best.

He held her under the water. Soon, the screaming stopped and the crying started. At first it was a quiet sob, but soon she was crying so hard it was tearing Logan’s heart in two. She clung to him under the deluge of water, repeating over and over, “No please stop, please.”

They stayed like that for as long as he thought she could stand the cold, when she started to shiver he turned the water off and got out of the shower. Without the spray of the shower he realized he’d been crying with her.

He stood in the bathroom holding her the way she held him when he found out his mother was really gone. Finally, she stopped crying and they stood eyes locked.

Logan turned back to where Wallace was in the other room, “Can you find me some dry clothes for her?”

Logan stripped Veronica of the wet clothes and wrapped a towel around her. He took off his own wet clothes and wrapped another towel around his waist.

Wallace handed him some clothing and Logan dressed Veronica in warm clothes. She looked at him like a child would look at a parent. He brushed the hair out of her eyes and smiled at her. He whispered in her ear, “I love you.”

She smiled back at him and brushed her fingers across his cheek.

They came into the bedroom; Veronica went to Wallace and hugged him

Wallace turned to Logan; “We’ll go out to the living room while you get dressed.”

Logan nodded to Wallace, a look of understanding passing between them.

When Logan joined them in the living room, Wallace and Veronica were sitting on the couch. Wallace moved to let Logan sit with Veronica.

“Veronica, this can’t happen again. You can’t spend all day in bed. It’s not good for you.”

Veronica twisted her hands in her lap. “I know, but I just didn’t care. Every time I rolled over and saw the time getting later and later, I thought I should get out of bed, but I was so comfortable and just too sleepy to get up.”

Logan was trying desperately to keep an accusing tone out of his voice, but he could hear it creeping in. “You were too lazy to get out of bed? You slept for over twelve hours. I don’t think I’ve ever slept that long, even to get over my worst hangover.”

Veronica jumped at his tone and turned defensive. “Look you don’t know what it’s like. You haven’t been here. It’s hard to get out of bed at all some days. I thought if you were here things would change, but I still have this huge hole that seems to swallow me up. I can fight it most days. I get up, do stuff, but it’s always there. Some days it grows so big and I can’t fight it and I let it swallow me whole. It’s easier.”

Veronica let the sob she’s been holding in out. Her whole body is trembling. Logan moved to hug her. She tried to push him away. He pulled her into him and let her cry.

When she was finally able to stop shaking Logan hooked his finger under her chin and raised her face to look up at him. “Veronica I know you didn’t want to see a therapist, but I really think you should. There’s so much more going on with you than either of us can deal with. I went to see your dad earlier today. He’s really worried about you too. We talked and he thinks you should go see someone too.”

“You went to go see my dad?” Veronica looked at him accusingly.

“I had to. I didn’t know what else to do. Please Veronica, we want you to get better and this is not working.”

Veronica looked from Logan to Wallace, seeing the concern in both sets of eyes.

Logan could see her hesitation. “I’ll make you a deal. If you go, I’ll go too. I don’t mean we’ll see the therapist together, but you go and I’ll go. What do you say?”

Veronica dropped her shoulders and let out a sigh, she knew she had lost. “I guess I can’t fight it anymore. We’ll go. I want to get better. If you can do it, so can I.”

Logan hugged her tightly to his chest and shared a smile over her head with Wallace.


	6. Fic - Creeque Alley

  
As the morning passed by, Veronica was able to get out of bed with little difficulty. She wasn’t exactly buzzing with energy, but she was up and that was enough for Logan. By the time they made their way to see Keith in the hospital, there was an easy flow between the two of them.

Turning away from the window, Veronica faced Logan, “I’m sort of nervous about seeing him. I’ve been avoiding him for a while now. I don’t want him to be angry with me.”

Logan pulled into the parking lot and turned to Veronica, “Veronica, your father could never be mad at you. Even if he were mad at you, you’d just tilt your head, flip your hair… all would be forgotten. Now come on, the one thing he asked me to do was to bring you to see him and I’m going to fulfill my promise.”

They walked hand in hand up to Keith’s room. Veronica paused outside the door, took a deep breathe, and entered the room. Keith looked up as they entered; a smile filled his face when his gaze fell on Veronica.

“Honey, I’m so glad you came. I missed you.” Keith sat up to get a better look at his daughter.

Veronica released Logan’s hand and walked over to her father’s side. She crawled into the bed with him. He wrapped his arms around her small frame, enveloping her in a tight hug.

Logan watched for a moment. Veronica had a relationship with her father that made him wonder what it would have been like to have a parent like Keith. Not wanting to intrude on their time, Logan gestured to Keith and slipped out the door.

Leaning against the wall outside the door, he could hear their muffled voices, along with Veronica's stifled crying. It was difficult for him to stay in the hallway, but he knew that Veronica and her father needed time alone. Finally, he heard Keith call for him to come back in.

“How’s it going in here?” He asked as he took a seat in the lone chair in the room. Veronica sat on the bed, holding her father’s hand in hers.

Keith was the one who answered, “Veronica tells me that she has agreed to talk to someone. She also told me that you’ve agreed to go as well.” Keith squeezed Veronica’s hand and looked at Logan. “I’m so proud of both of you.”

Logan felt something in Keith’s few words that he hadn’t felt in years, something that could only be described as parental concern.

“My doctor gave me a list of psychologist’s this morning. You can pick whichever one you want, but pick one soon. I want to see you both of you working towards getting better.”

Veronica took the piece of paper from Keith’s hand and kissed his forehead. “I want to get better too, daddy.”

They stayed and talked with Keith until he started to show signs of being tired. Logan and Veronica said goodbye and promised to visit the next day.

***

Veronica asked if they could go to the beach before returning to the apartment. They sat on the blanket that Logan kept in the back of his SUV. Veronica looked at the piece of paper her father gave her. There were three doctors to choose from.

“Well, it’s now or never.” Veronica took out her phone and skimmed the list again. She ruled out the one female doctor. She felt much more comfortable talking to a man. The most important people in her life were all male. She dialed the number of the first male doctor on the list, Dr. Bryan Zimmer.

She spoke briefly with the receptionist, explaining who she and Logan were and that they wanted to meet with the doctor. The receptionist told her that she was in luck. Dr. Zimmer had a cancellation the following morning and he could do a consult with them at 11:00am. Veronica thanked her and ended the call.

“Well Mr. Echolls, it is official. You and I have an appointment tomorrow to meet with the person who could soon know all our secrets.”

***

The rest of the day passed quickly. Wallace kept calling to talk to Veronica. He made up excuses to keep calling; she knew that he was concerned for her well-being, so she didn’t mind.

Logan and Veronica watched their favorite Wednesday night show. They couldn’t tear their eyes from the screen for the entire hour. When the show ended Veronica clicked off the television in disgust. “I don’t know why she is dating that moron. He’s so boring!”

Logan laughed at her, “Calm down, it’s only a television show.”

Veronica looked at him in shock. “Look who’s talking. You’re the one who covered his eyes and yelled at the screen when they started to make out.”

“She may be dating that fruitcake, but I don’t have to watch her make out with anyone until she gets back together with her true love.”

Veronica smiled at Logan, “Aw, you’re just an old softy at heart, aren’t you?”

Veronica lifted her hand to Logan’s cheek and ran a finger down his jaw line. She drew his mouth close to hers and she kissed him. Snaking her arms around his neck, pulling him even closer and deepening the kiss.

Logan brushed his tongue along her lower lip. She parted her lips allowing him entrance. Sweeping his tongue through her mouth, Logan slid his hands up her sides and into her hair.

Veronica, using his shoulders for balance lifted her hips and smoothly straddled his lap. She ran her hands down his chest to rest on either side of his hips.

Logan kissed his way along her mouth and worked down the side of her neck. He lightly suckled her pulse point.

Veronica ground her hips down against his growing erection, eliciting a groan from his lips. She continued to grind against him, building the friction. She slithered her hands from his hips to his belt. Just as she pulled the belt through the buckle, Logan’s hand wrapped around her wrist, stopping her progress.

Veronica leaned back to look at him, causing her hips to press hard against him. “What are you doing?”

“Veronica, maybe we shouldn’t be doing this now.” Logan still held firmly to her wrist.

“What do you mean? Look around, empty apartment. There’s no one to interrupt.” Veronica leaned in to kiss him again.

Logan dodged her. “No. I mean… maybe we shouldn’t be doing this until you feel better.”

Hurt filled Veronica’s face. “You don’t want to make love to me?”

“I think it’s rather evident that I would want nothing more than to throw you down and have my way with you.” He pressed his erection into her. “But, maybe we should wait.”

Veronica pushed away from him, sliding off his lap. “You want to wait? You’ve never waited for anyone Logan. Just say it; you don’t want to fuck me!”

“I’m trying to do the right thing here, Veronica.” He looked at her lovingly.

Veronica grabbed Backup’s leash and shook it. The dog came bounding towards her. “Whatever you say. I’m taking Backup out for a walk.” Veronica exited the apartment and let the door slam behind her.

***

Veronica returned to the apartment half an hour later. Logan stopped his pacing and waited for her to say something.

“I’m sorry that I took off on you, but you were treating me as if I was going to break at any moment. I know I haven’t been myself, but you haven’t been acting like yourself either. You rarely touch me. Logan, I used to have to pry you off me. Stop treating me like a china doll. I’m not going to break.”

Logan stepped closer to her. “I’m sorry, baby. I didn’t know I was making you feel that way.” Logan paused, then smirked. “Veronica, I promise the next time you throw yourself at me… I’ll let you have your way with me.”

A couch pillow flew through the air and hit him in the face. They stared at each other for a moment and then started laughing.

***

The next morning, Logan and Veronica sat quietly in Dr. Zimmer’s waiting room. At eleven, the receptionist escorted them into the doctors’ office. A few minutes later, the doctor entered.

Dr. Zimmer was younger than Veronica expected him to be. He couldn’t have been much older than thirty. He was dressed casually, black Dockers and a royal blue collared shirt.

“Hello, I’m Dr. Zimmer. If it makes you more comfortable you can call me Bryan.” He shook their hands. “Normally, I don‘t consult two patients together, however, I‘m willing to make an exception, in this case. Is that acceptable to both of you? Or would you rather have separate consultations?”

Logan and Veronica exchanged a glance and answered simultaneously. “No, we’ll do this together.”

“Okay. So, let’s get started. I’m not going to lie. I know who both of you are. I’ve read the papers. I know some of what you’ve been through recently. What can you tell me that I don’t know?” Dr. Zimmer picked up a legal pad and pen to take notes.

Veronica spoke first. “Well, I guess I’ll start.” Veronica described what she’d been going through, since school ended. She talked about her life since Lilly‘s death, being ousted at school, her investigations, and her rape.

Dr. Zimmer let her talk, interrupting intermittently to ask a few questions. “You’re okay with what happened at that party? You don’t see yourself as a rape victim anymore?”

“I guess not. Things didn’t happen the way I thought they had.” Veronica watched as the doctor wrote a few words on his notepad.

“But, for over a year you thought you were raped? You even thought Logan was involved?”

Veronica shifted on the couch. “Yes, but that’s not what happened and I know that Logan had nothing to do with what happened to me.”

“So, do you see yourself having issues with sex?”

Veronica shot a pointed look at Logan. “No, I don’t.”

Dr. Zimmer looked back and forth between the two, but didn’t make a remark, he just wrote on his notepad.

“Logan, what about you? Give me a little background. You moved here when you were in middle school?”

“Yeah, I was twelve.” Logan didn’t know exactly what the doctor was looking for. Therefore, he kept his answers brief.

“What was your home life like?”

“My father turned out to be a murderer. Let’s just say that living with him wasn’t exactly fun and games.” Veronica squeezed Logan’s hand.

“He was… abusive?”

Logan looked away before answering quietly, “Yes.”

“And your mother, did he abuse her too? Do you think that’s why she killed herself?”

Logan shrugged his shoulders and looked down at the floor, “Maybe.”

Dr. Zimmer didn’t push. This was only a consult, a way for him to get to know these two. However, he did make notes of Logan’s reaction. “Okay, let’s talk about something else. Tell me about Lilly? Were you dating her when she died?”

Logan visibly relaxed at the change of subject. “Technically, she had broken up with me by the time she died, but yeah, we were dating.”

“Now that you know she was having an affair with your father. How do you feel about her?”

“I don’t know. I thought I would hate her… but no one could ever hate Lilly for longer than a minute. Her spirit was infectious.”

“Yeah.” Veronica said with a soft smile.

“What about your relationship? You didn’t get along after Lilly’s death, but now you’re dating?

Logan and Veronica shared a look. “It’s been complicated between us. I didn’t exactly trust Logan when we first started seeing each other.”

Logan interrupted, “Her accusations hurt me and I started being a jerk again. Then, I just left.”

“But, you’re willing to work things out now?”

“Yes, we are. We care about each other and want to be better for each other.” Logan answered confidently.

“Okay. Well, I think you both know that there are a lot of issues to work through. I’d be willing to take both of you on as patients. I would like to try to help you. I’ll leave you two for a moment, so that you can decide if you want to begin therapy sessions.” Dr. Zimmer flipped his notepad shut and left the office.

Logan paced around the room a bit. “Do you like him, baby? Could you see yourself talking to him?”

Veronica watched as he paced nervously. “Actually, I like him. He seems easy enough to talk to.” Veronica grinned a little, “Plus he’s hot.”

Logan spun around to face her. “WHAT?”

Veronica broke into giggles, “I’m just teasing. You know I only have eyes for you.”

“You better.” Logan laughed after a moment too. “Come let’s go schedule our next appointment.

They spoke to Dr. Zimmer and scheduled appointments for the following week. Logan and Veronica left the office feeling relieved and ready to face the task ahead of them.


	7. Chapter 7

Logan and Veronica began therapy. Twice a week, Veronica spent an hour talking to Dr. Zimmer. She seemed to be doing well. She enjoyed talking to the doctor and was beginning to understand how to work through her bad days.

Logan, on the other hand, was having a more difficult time. He had buried his abuse and abandonment, long ago. It was rather difficult for him to unearth all those buried feelings. He often left Dr. Zimmer’s office more confused than when he entered.

One Thursday, several weeks after they each began therapy, Logan returned to the apartment acting rather distant. Veronica had been at the beach playing with Back Up. When she entered the apartment, she found Logan sitting in a chair, staring at the wall. Back Up immediately bounded towards Logan and jumped into his lap, startling him out of his thoughts.

Logan patted the dog’s head and looked at Veronica, who had seated herself on the couch. “Hey.”

Veronica gave Logan a once over glance, “Are you okay?”

Logan sighed, “I was just thinking. I know talking about what you’ve gone through recently has helped you air out your problems, but for me stirring up all these old feelings just makes me angrier. Talking about what Aaron did to me, makes me want to hurt him. Talking about how my mother let it happen, that she left me behind when she couldn’t take it anymore, hurts so damn much. And the kicker is; I’d give anything to have her back here, even now. How fucked up is that? She didn’t give me a second thought, she left me and all I want is for her to come back.” Logan dropped his head into his hands, he was close to tears.

Veronica moved from the couch and onto Logan‘s lap. She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed his forehead. “It’s not fucked up that you want your mom back. My mother not only left me behind, but she wasted the money I spent on her rehab and then stole fifty grand from us. Sometimes, I still want her to come home.”

They sat quietly, for a long time, while Veronica rubbed the back of Logan’s neck. Finally, he spoke. “Sorry if I brought you down. I never thought talking about my problems would be this difficult.”

Veronica smiled down at him, “It’s okay. When it’s difficult, we’re there for each other. When I have a bad day, you help me through it and when you have one, I’ll be there for you. We are a part of each other and we’ll help each other through whatever comes our way.”

***

As Logan and Veronica started to reclaim their lives. They also began to spend more time outside Veronica’s apartment. The news got out that Logan was back in town. Dick and Cassidy tracked him down surfing one day. They were happy to see their friend again. Veronica discovered that while Dick was perpetually twelve years old, Cassidy was a sweet kid. So, she didn’t mind them hanging out with them.

Weevil bumped into Veronica one afternoon as she walked Back Up. He wasn’t thrilled that Veronica was seeing Logan. He wasn’t going to ever change his opinion, he’s always thought Logan was a spoiled rich boy, but he could see Logan made Veronica happy. So, he told Veronica he was happy for her.

Of course, Wallace had been keeping a close eye on Veronica. He hung out in the apartment often, he and Logan actually got along pretty well. Veronica even came home one day to find the two of them in her living room watching the Chappelle Show, laughing and quoting the skits. It made her happy to see her best friend and her boyfriend getting along.

The one person they hadn’t seen yet was Duncan. Veronica was not looking forward to that meeting. Duncan had really upset her after Logan left town. He was constantly showing up at her apartment and at the beach when she walked Back Up. He would not take no for an answer when he kept asking her out.

Two weeks before school started, Logan and Veronica were eating lunch at an outside café down by the beach. Veronica was smiling and laughing along with Logan. Any passerby would have thought they were just a normal, happy teenage couple. Just as they finished their meal, Veronica spotted Duncan approaching. She nudged Logan with her foot and nodded her head in Duncan’s direction. Logan turned around and waved him over.

Logan stood and pulled an extra chair over to the table. “Hey, man. Good to see you. Sit down.”

Duncan looked back and forth between Logan and Veronica. He had obviously not heard that they were dating again. He sat at the table, stunned by how comfortable they were with each other.

Logan was the first to speak. “So, what have you been up to all summer?”

Logan’s question snapped Duncan from his thoughts and he focused on Logan. “Oh, well, I spent most of the summer in Napa. My parents moved up there to get away from the press. Other than that, not much. I took an online course. No big deal. What about you?”

Logan caught Veronica’s eye, he could tell she was uncomfortable around Duncan and she didn’t want him to know about what she had been going through. “Uh, I came back from Mexico about a month and a half ago. We’ve just been hanging out since then, going to the beach, swimming, and surfing. Well, I surf, Veronica tans. She refuses to get on a board.”

Veronica giggled, “You know I just like to watch you, honey.”

Duncan flinched at the term of endearment that Veronica used toward Logan. He barely acknowledged Logan was there. His gaze steadied on Veronica. She tried to give him a smile, but his fixed stare was unnerving her. She reached across the table and grabbed Logan’s hand, signaling with her eyes she needed some help.

Logan squeezed her hand and tried to get Duncan’s attention again. “Uh, so, what are you doing these last two weeks before school starts again?”

Duncan’s eyes briefly flickered to Logan’s face then settled back on Logan and Veronica’s clasped hands. “I was just gonna hang out. Maybe we could get together at your house, play video games. We could invite Dick and Beaver.”

It was Logan’s turn to look uncomfortable. He’d been living at Veronica’s, but he didn’t think that would go over well with Duncan.

Veronica answered before Logan could get a chance. She wanted to make it abundantly clear that she was with Logan. “Actually, Duncan, Logan hasn’t been at his house all summer. He’s staying with me, but I wouldn’t mind having all you guys at my place.” Veronica looked over at Logan, “Wallace could come over as well, you guys have been getting along, right?”

There was a quick flash of something in Duncan’s eyes that Veronica couldn’t quite place, but he quickly covered it. Duncan stumbled over his reply, “Uh, sure, whatever. Look, I gotta go. See ya around.” Duncan quickly stood and headed back in the direction he came from.

Logan stared curiously at Veronica. “You didn’t have to do that. You’re obviously uncomfortable around him and he’s obviously still hung up on you.”

Veronica smiled. “It’s all right. I want there to be no question that we’re together. Plus, he’s your best friend. I don’t want you to avoid him, just because he makes me feel uncomfortable. Besides, if everyone’s hanging out, I can avoid being alone with him.”

Logan returned her smile. He was thrilled that Veronica was so open and confident about their relationship. He signaled to the waiter for the check, paid the bill, and they left.

***

The next day, Logan settled himself in the chair in Dr. Zimmer’s office and waited.

Dr. Zimmer flipped open his notes and looked at Logan. “Last time we talked, we delved into some deep issues regarding your parents. You were a little upset. How are you feeling today?”

Logan faced the doctor. “I’m good. I’m still angry with Aaron. When I think about what he’s done to me over the years, all this anger boils up inside of me. I truly hate him. Even with all the hate, all the anger I have for him, I’ve never acted out on it. I’ve never physically hurt someone because I couldn’t control myself. Sure, I’ve gotten into fights, but no more than any other guy my age.”

Logan took a deep breath and continued. “That was always my biggest fear, especially when it came to Veronica. I have these intense feelings for her. Feelings I’ve never had for anyone else. I was afraid I’d be like him. I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to control such strong feelings. It’s part of the reason I left at the beginning of the summer. Then, I realized, even at my lowest moment the thought of hurting her never even entered my mind. I’ve never had any impulse to lay a hand on her in anger.”

Logan paused. Dr. Zimmer waited, feeling he had more to say.

Logan scratched his head and in soft voice said, “She loves me, you know.”

Louder, Logan went on, “I always knew she cared about me, but she really loves me. Just yesterday, we ran into Duncan. She’s really uncomfortable around him. I guess after he found out they weren’t related, he was stalking her. She had to be pretty blunt to get him to leave her alone, but she knows he’s my friend. And even though she’d rather not be around him, she invited him to her apartment. She didn’t even give it a second thought. No one’s ever really given consideration to how I feel. Lilly never did. She did whatever suited her. I know it’s not a big deal, but it was to me.”

Logan finally stopped talking. He felt a huge weight lift off his shoulders. He’d never realized that voicing his thoughts and feelings could be so liberating.

Dr. Zimmer interrupted his thoughts. “So, what do you think will happen when the three of you get together?”

Logan focused on Dr. Zimmer, “Well, she invited some of our other friends over too. So, it won’t just be the three of us. I don’t know what will happen. I know how I feel and I know how Veronica feels. Duncan, not so much. I haven’t really spoken to him, since everything went down with Aaron. I know Duncan still likes Veronica, but I know she doesn’t feel that way about him. I would hope he’d see that and back off. I don’t know if he will though. I don’t think he was thrilled to hear I’ve been living at Veronica’s.”

Dr. Zimmer nodded, “How is that going? I know we’ve talked about this before, but you know when Mr. Mars gets out of rehab and returns home you’re going to have to go back to your own house.”

Logan scrunched his face in dismay. “I know. I don’t know how it’ll be. Her little apartment has felt more like a home to me than my house ever has. It’s going to be hard, but I’m not deluded. Her dad isn’t just going to let me move into her room while he’s one door down.”

Dr. Zimmer scanned his notes. “How do you think Veronica will handle it?”

Logan sighed. “I know she doesn’t want me to leave. She has avoided talking about it. I think she has this idea that I’ll just be able to stay, that her dad won’t mind us sleeping together.”

Dr. Zimmer looked up from his paper. “Sleeping together? Have things changed? As of our last conversation you hadn’t had sex.”

Logan didn’t mind talking about sex, but Dr. Zimmer was so serious about it. It made him a little uncomfortable. “I didn’t mean it like that. I just meant sharing a bed. And no, we haven’t slept together.”

Dr. Zimmer smiled, “I’m sorry. I don’t mean to be so forward, but when we started these sessions you said Veronica wanted to have sex, but you were worried about her. Recently, you’ve also told me that you see how much better she is. Is something else keeping you two apart?”

Logan snorted, “Apart no, I can’t keep my hands off her. She’s the one that’s been backing off recently. I don’t know why, she won’t tell me. I can wait till she’s ready. I just wish she’d tell me what she’s thinking.”

Dr. Zimmer wrote on his notes, “I’m sure when she’s ready she’ll talk to you.”

They spent the rest of their session talking about the beginning of school. Logan left this session feeling much better than after his last visit.

***

As he walked toward the apartment, Logan could hear the radio playing. Veronica liked to sing along to the oldies station when she was in the apartment alone. He quietly entered the apartment and saw her picking up the clothing lying around. She was singing, oblivious to his presence.

 _The night we met I knew I  
needed you so  
And if I had the chance I'd  
never let you go  
So won't you say you love me  
I'll make you so proud of me  
We'll make 'em turn their heads  
Every place we go  
So won't you please_

Logan walked through the living room and positioned himself near the kitchen. He watched Veronica with an amused smile on his face.

 _Be my, be my baby  
be my little baby  
My one and only baby  
Say you'll be my darling  
Be my be my  
Be my baby now  
My one and only baby_

Logan crept further down the hall and now stood outside the bedroom door. He could barely contain his huge smile.

 _I'll make you happy baby  
Just wait and see  
For every kiss you give me  
I'll give you three  
Oh since the day I saw you  
I have been waiting for you  
You know I will adore you  
Till eternity, so won't you please_

Veronica turned and had her back facing the door. She did not see Logan enter the room and walk towards her.

 _Be my, be my baby  
be my little baby  
My one and only baby_

Logan wrapped his arms around her waist, startling her. He kissed her neck and whispered, “Of course I’ll be your one and only baby. Will you promise to be mine?”

Veronica turned in his arms to face him. She smiled brightly at him. “I’m already your one and only, but I promise to be your one and only for the rest of my life.” She planted a soft kiss on his lips and then pulled out of his embrace. “I talked to Wallace, Dick, and Cassidy. They’re all up for Saturday. Call Duncan and we’ll be all set.”

Logan picked up his cell and spoke to Duncan for a few minutes. When he hung up, he told Veronica everything was set for Saturday.


	8. Chapter 8

Saturday came. Veronica was too excited about having their friends at the apartment to worry about having Duncan there too. Wallace arrived first. He plopped down on the couch and called to Logan, who was still in the bedroom.

Duncan knocked on the door and Veronica let him in. He stood uncomfortably, just inside the door. He was still standing there when Logan walked barefoot, out of the bedroom. Logan tossed a magazine to Wallace. “Hey. That has the article about the videogame I was telling you about.”

Logan noticed Duncan, “Hey DK. What’s up?”

Logan opened the refrigerator. He tossed Veronica a bottle of water, Wallace a can of soda and took a soda for himself. “Do you want something to drink, Duncan? We’ve got water, soda, juice.”

Duncan stood amazed at how comfortable Logan was in Veronica’s house. “Uh, I’ll have soda.”

Logan handed Duncan the soda and motioned him towards the living room. Logan sprawled on the floor. Duncan took a seat in one of the chairs, staring as Wallace and Logan argued over what game to play first. Veronica joined them, lounging across Logan’s lap.

They could hear Dick and Cassidy before they even reached the apartment door. One of them rapped loudly on the door. At the same time, both Veronica and Logan yelled, “Come in.”

The Casablancas brothers stumbled through the door, each trying to push their way in first.

Cassidy slipped past his brother, “Hey everyone.”

They settled themselves in Veronica’s living room and started playing games. All afternoon arguing, laughter and excitement filled the room. Veronica beat Dick when they played against each other then he pouted in the corner.

“It’s not fair. Logan tells her where to find the bonuses.”

Cassidy punched his brother’s arm “You’re just mad because you got beat by a girl.”

Dick pushed back, “That’s not true.” The two brothers were soon rolling around on the floor fighting.

Finally, Veronica broke them apart. “Hey, stop it you two, or else I’m going to have to separate you.”

They reluctantly separated and grumbled going to opposite sides of the room.

When they broke for pizza, Wallace and Logan joked that they should have ordered a whole pizza just for Veronica. Veronica glared at them and flipped them off as she reached for another slice.

Duncan had been pretty quiet most of the day, watching how the group interacted. It was obvious that they had hung out quite a bit and got along well. He felt like an outsider. As it got later, Wallace was the first to leave, followed by the Casablancas boys. Soon, it was only Veronica, Logan and Duncan.

Veronica retreated to her room to call her father. Logan began cleaning up the living room. “It was good to see you. I’m glad you came over.”

Duncan watched Logan putting away dishes and glasses. “Logan, what are you doing here?”

Logan looked at him confused, “What do you mean?”

Duncan got up from the chair and walked to the kitchen. “I mean, you wouldn’t talk to Veronica at the end of school and you took off after school ended. And now here you are playing house with her.”

Logan stopped what he was doing. “Yeah, I left. It was stupid. I was messed up, but I came back and worked things out with Veronica. What business is it of yours?”

Duncan picked up a can and threw it in the garbage. “I asked Veronica out before I went up to Napa. She and I were going to get back together. You’re ruining everything.”

Logan snorted, “Yeah, Veronica told me that you wouldn’t leave her alone, constantly asking her out, even though she kept saying no. You’re deluded if you think she was going to get back together with you.”

Duncan dropped the pretense of helping clean up, his eyes flashing brightly, “You’re wrong. She and I are supposed to be together. You’re getting in the way or else she’d see that!”

“Excuse me? What did you say?” Both Logan and Duncan turned quickly towards the hallway where Veronica stood.

Duncan moved towards Veronica, “Veronica, it true. You know it. If he wasn’t in the way, we’d be together.”

Veronica breathed deeply, trying to get her anger under control. “Duncan you’re crazy. I don’t know what gave you the idea that I would want to get back together with you, but you’re wrong. I don’t want to be with you. I don’t want to date you. I’m in love with Logan.”

Duncan stepped closer, but Logan moved in between them. “Veronica, we were so happy together in the past and now we can be happy again.”

Veronica snorted, “Happy…you think I could be happy with you? Duncan, I don’t want to be in the same room with you. You dropped me without a word. Yeah, you had a reason, but you were such a coward you couldn’t even break up with me to my face. You just stopped talking to me. You think I want to date you again after that?”

Duncan tried to speak, but Veronica kept going. “How about the fact that you had sex with me then left me alone the next morning? I didn’t know what happened to me. I went down to the Sheriff’s office and cried the whole story out to Lamb and he laughed in my face. I spent the next year and a half believing I’d been raped. I had horrific nightmares about what happened to me. Do you think I could date you again after that? I don’t want to be near you. I don’t want you to touch me. The only reason I even invited you here is because you’re Logan’s friend and I don’t want him to give that up, just because of me.”

Veronica paused, “Listen up, Duncan. I’m in love with Logan. I do _not_ want to date you. I do _not_ want to be with you. So, deal with it and leave us alone.” Veronica reached out to Logan and took his hand. He pulled her close in a tight embrace.

Duncan stood, staring at the two before turning quickly to leave the apartment. Before he slammed the door, he turned back and said, “This isn’t over.”

***

Logan and Veronica spent the remainder of the weekend at home. On Monday, Veronica went for her session with Dr. Zimmer.

The doctor entered the office and sat down. “You seem happy today. How was your weekend?”

Veronica smiled, “Good. We had our friends over on Saturday. Duncan was there.”

Dr. Zimmer nodded, “How was that?”

“At first, he started talking about how he and I were supposed to be together and how Logan was in the way. Then, I interrupted him. I was able to say all the things I’d been holding inside. I told him how much of jerk he was when he first broke up with me. It was so freeing. I told him flat out that I never want to date him again. I also told him that I’m in love with Logan.” Veronica paused. “It felt great to say it all out loud to him.”

Dr. Zimmer smiled, “That’s great, Veronica. I’m glad you were able to confront him. To get what you needed to off your chest. So, how does this make you feel about what we talked about last week?”

Veronica blushed slightly, “About sleeping with Logan?”

Dr. Zimmer nodded.

Veronica blushed deeper. “I still want to. I know Logan does too and he’s being good about respecting what I want. I know before I was mad at him for wanting to wait and he’s confused because now I’m not ready. Talking about what happened after Shelley’s party made me feel like I wasn’t ready to take that step. After this weekend, getting all that stuff off my chest, I feel like I might be ready.”

Dr. Zimmer nodded again. “That’s good, Veronica, but may I make a suggestion? Before you do anything, make sure you talk to Logan about what you’ve been feeling. He deserves to know what you’ve been thinking.”

Veronica smiled at the doctor. “I know.”

Veronica and Dr. Zimmer finished their session and Veronica headed home.

***

Veronica arrived at her apartment to find Logan lounging in her bed listening to his iPod. She slipped off her shoes and slid onto the bed next to him. She snuggled into his arms. They lay still for a moment before Logan placed the iPod on the nightstand and whispered to her. “How did today go?”

Veronica had her head on his chest, but angled her neck to look up at him. “Actually, really well. I told Dr. Zimmer about Duncan. He thought it was good that I was able to confront him. I had a lot to get off my chest. I feel so much better now.”

Logan smiled, “I’m glad you feel better.”

Veronica tightened her arms around him. “There’s more. Dr. Zimmer and I have been talking a lot about what happened at Shelley’s party and how I felt afterwards. It’s part of the reason I was hesitant to sleep with you.”

She felt Logan stiffen underneath her, but she kept talking. “It wasn’t about you. It was about how I felt about sex. I know it seems weird, because a few weeks ago I was mad at you for not wanting to sleep with me. Now, I realize, I was scared. Just like you’d buried stuff, I’d buried this.”

Logan relaxed, “I understand. I know how that feels. So, did confronting Duncan make you relieve that fear?”

Veronica thought for a moment. “It wasn’t so much relieving the fear, but letting me take control of it. I knew that he couldn’t hurt me anymore.”

Logan pressed a kiss into her hair. “I’m so happy for you.”

Veronica shifted onto her side and propped her head up on her elbow. “Dr. Zimmer thought I should tell you why I’ve been holding back and I thought I should tell you why I’m not anymore.”

Logan’s eyes widened slightly, “You’re not holding back…”

Veronica laid flush against Logan, pressing her lips to his. “I love you. I never want to be with anyone, but you.”

Logan’s hands slid to Veronica’s hips. “I never want to be with anyone else either and I love you more than anything.”

Veronica’s slid her legs to either side of Logan’s hips and she pushed herself up so she was straddling him. She gripped the hem of her shirt and tugged it over her head.

Logan’s hands were still at her hips and his fingers tickled the newly exposed flesh. She pushed her own hands under his t-shirt, running her hands over his abdomen and up his chest.

He sat up slightly and she helped him slip the shirt over his head. She leaned in close, covering his mouth with hers. He ran his tongue along the seam of her lips. She opened her mouth slightly and his tongue dipped in slowly. He tasted sweet and spicy at the same time. A taste uniquely Logan.

She was lost in his kiss until she felt his hand cover a breast, his thumb and forefinger rolling her nipple through the thin cotton of her bra. A soft moan escaped her throat, enticing him on.

With his other hand, he unhooked her bra, slid it from her and tossed it away. He broke the kiss and placed open-mouths kisses down her throat. His fingers went back to teasing one nipple while he placed his mouth over the other. He nipped at the hardened point with his teeth, sending an eruption of sensation through her body.

Veronica could feel Logan’s cock harden underneath her and she ground her hips against him in response. He groaned, “Oh Veronica.”

Logan encircled her body with his arms and rolled them over. He settled in the cradle of her legs and dipped his head into the crook of her neck. He trailed sloppy kisses down her neck and licked across her clavicle.

Veronica ran a hand through his hair and pulled him back up into a deep air-depriving kiss. She swept her hands down his back, reveling in the movement of each sculpted muscle. When she reached the top of his jeans, she dragged her fingers along the skin at his waist around to his belt buckle. She traced the fine trail of hair that disappeared below his jeans.

Veronica quickly worked his belt, frustrated she couldn’t get it undone fast enough. Finally, Logan stood, impatient as well. He rid himself of his jeans and Veronica wriggled out of her own pants.

Logan looked Veronica over, her body flushed with passion, leaving her skin glowing. He settled back on the bed. He gently let his fingers tickle the soft skin of her thigh.

She watched him, her eyes shining with intensity. When his hand reached the juncture of her legs, he tenderly pressed his fingers to her clit, teasing her through her panties. She moaned his name at the contact.

Logan dragged his tongue down her stomach and dipped it into her navel. He continued to torment her with his finger. He grabbed the waist of her panties in his teeth, pulling up and releasing them, letting them snap back. She gasped, wanting more.

Veronica slipped her own hand into Logan’s boxers and encircled his cock with her hand. She pumped him excruciatingly slow, torturing him with her touch. His head lolled back momentarily, lost in the sensations.

He pulled her hand away and gripped her panties, pulling them off her. He skimmed his hands up her thighs to her hips and jerked her forward, allowing him better access. He pressed a finger against her clit, then traced around her opening spreading her wetness.

Veronica gripped his biceps anticipating his next touch. He slid one finger in, taking pleasure in her tightening around him. He leisurely moved his finger in and out, working her into a muted frenzy. He added a second finger and picked up his pace.

Veronica growled, pressing her hips up. Logan’s fingers stilled, he pressed them up against that spot causing her to cry out in delight. He removed his fingers and quickly replaced them with his tongue. She was so wet and he could feel her quiver when he pressed his tongue inside her.

Logan pinched her clit and moved his tongue inside her with ardor. He felt her inner muscles start to contract. Veronica moaned repeatedly as she rode out her orgasm, climaxing and calling his name, “Logan!”

Logan watched as Veronica came down from her high, he struggled out of his boxers and grabbed his jeans searching for a condom.

He focused his stare on her as he tore the foil with his teeth. Veronica stared, watching as he rolled the condom over his engorged cock with shaking fingers.

Veronica reached out to him, pulling him back over her. Logan leaned down catching her mouth with his, kissing her hard and biting her lower lip.

He pressed the tip of his dick against her opening and watched her face as he slowly pushed inside of her. When he was fully in, he stilled, relishing the sensation. With his eyes still locked with hers, he began to move in and out. She dragged her nails down his back and wrapped her legs around his hips, pulling him as close to her as possible.

Logan cried out her name and began to stroke faster, slamming into her as she urged him on. She moved her hips to meet each of his thrusts.

Veronica could feel the familiar tightening begin between her legs and she pleaded for him to move faster.

Logan, happy to oblige, stroked faster, feeling his own orgasm approaching.

Veronica dug her nails into his back and cried his name repeatedly as she came. Logan felt the waves of her orgasm as they pulled him along as well. He plunged deep into her one last time, his body bowing as he emptied himself inside her and grunted her name.

He collapsed on top of her, breathing raggedly as they lay in bliss. Logan rolled off her and disposed of the condom in the bathroom. He returned to bed and gathered her in his arms.

He pressed soft kisses into her hair, breathing in the scent of her vanilla-almond shampoo. He whispered, “I love you,” but she had already fallen asleep, a content smile present on her face.


	9. Chapter 9

Logan and Veronica spent their last few days of summer just the two of them. Despite both Wallace and the Casablancas’ brothers invitations to hang out the couple wanted to spend as much time alone together as possible. They knew that as soon as school started again they be thrown back into the spotlight. They savored the little time they had left to be alone.

Veronica sat at the island in her kitchen organizing her bag with new notebooks and other various supplies for school. She looked over at Logan sprawled on the couch watching television. “Aren’t you going to get ready for school?”

Logan glanced up from the television, “What’s to get ready? Thanks to your shopping trip, I have a pen and a new notebook. That’s all I need.”

Veronica rolled her eyes and drew out his name, “Logan… it’s the first day of senior year can’t you show a little enthusiasm?”

Logan abandoned the television and approached Veronica. “Come on, when have I ever been enthusiastic about school? Besides, this year isn’t exactly going to be easy.” Logan paused and stared into Veronica’s eyes, “You do realize that school is not going to be easy? You did tell me that you and Dr. Zimmer talked about this. Veronica, you more than anyone, know that people are mean and nasty. Tomorrow could be like any other day or it could be absolutely fucking awful.”

Veronica fiddled with her school supplies, before meeting Logan’s gaze. “I know that school may not be great, but I’m trying to be optimistic. After everything we’ve been through this summer, I’m just hoping that we get a break.”

Logan sighed, “I hope we get a break too. I just want you to be prepared if we don’t. Now come on, let’s get to bed. We’ve got a big day tomorrow.”

***

Logan and Veronica pulled into the school parking lot and parked. Logan killed the engine as Veronica stared out the window at the school. “It looks smaller than I remembered. Is it possible that it shrunk in the time we’ve been out of school?”

Logan took Veronica’s hand and followed her stare up to the building, “Shrunk? I doubt it. Come on, let’s get this over with.”

They exited the car and with clasped hands walked towards the school. Veronica spotted Wallace and called out to him. “Wallace, over here!”

Wallace walked toward the two and waved. “Hey guys, ready to start our senior year?”

Veronica hip checked Wallace and cheered, “Seniors rule!”

Wallace laughed at her, “Girl, when did you become such a dork?”

Logan smirked, “She’s always been one; she just used to be better at hiding it.”

Veronica glared at both of them for a moment before sticking her tongue out at Logan, “Let’s get going.”

Inside the building seemed just like it always had. Students stood talking about their summers. Freshmen walked around, trying not to appear too intimidated or lost. And seniors crowed about being the top dogs at the school.

No one seemed to pay attention to Veronica or Logan. There were some long curious looks, but no one approached them and they certainly didn’t say anything.

Logan separated from Veronica and Wallace and headed to his locker just past theirs. Dick and a few other 09ers greeted Logan heartily, hyped about finally being seniors. Before the warning bell rang Logan returned to Veronica and told her he would see her in Journalism class and then at lunch. He gave her hand a squeeze and watched as she headed to her first class.

The morning went by uneventfully. Logan’s principal standing amongst the students unwavering, just as Veronica’s outcast status had not changed. While she wasn’t under constant ridicule any longer, she also had not been accepted back into the fold.

At lunch, Logan joined Veronica and Wallace at their table with a pizza.

Veronica bounced happily, “See I knew there was a reason I kept you around… I don’t have to eat cafeteria food any longer.”

Logan held the pizza box out of her reach, “I knew it; used for my pizza buying skills.”

Veronica tried to reach for the box, but Logan held it just out of her grasp.

Veronica gave up trying to grab for the pizza in a huff and tried a different tactic, “You have plenty of other skills that I appreciate… skills that I won’t allow you to use if you don’t hand over the pizza.”

Logan’s eyes widened and immediately handed over the pizza box. Veronica laughed at him.

When they all had their food Logan asked, “How’s your day been so far?”

Veronica swallowed the bite of food in her mouth, “It’s been okay.”

Logan looked at her closely, “Okay? What happened?”

She fixed her gaze to her plate, “Really, nothing happened. Everything is the same, I go about my business and everyone else tries their best to ignore me.” Veronica paused, “I just thought it would be different, this huge thing happened and everything is the same. No one’s even acknowledging it; it’s as if last spring never happened. I just don’t get it.”

Logan took her hand, “I told you last night things might not be easy around here. You said you were prepared for that.”

Veronica finally lifted her eyes from her plate. “I was prepared for that. I was prepared for people to torment me. I was prepared for people to smile fake smiles at me and pretend to be my friend again. I was ready for the best and worst, but not this. How can they not even acknowledge the fact that the Kane’s covered up Lilly’s murder? They used Lamb as their pawn and my father was right all along,” she paused and shot Logan a sorrowful look, “and your father killed her and got away with it for over a year?”

Veronica was near tears as Logan slid closer to wrap his arm around her. “I’m sorry, but you know what the 09ers are like. They’ll never admit they were wrong about anything. They’ll never speak out against the Kane’s. They’ll sweep everything under the rug as if it never happened. They don’t want to dwell on the grimy underbelly of Neptune. All they want to do is go on wearing their rose-colored glasses and forget about it.”

Veronica’s eyes swirled with emotions, anger for the ostrich-like actions of her classmates and disappointment for her own hopes of what she thought this year would be like; she heaved a heavy sigh. “I know you’re right. I guess I was just fooling myself as to what today would be like.”

Logan still held her gaze searching to make sure she was okay, “Are you going to be alright?”

Veronica fiddled with her napkin, “Yeah, I’ll be fine.” With a renewed energy, she pushed those feeling aside, smiled at Logan and Wallace then grabbed another slice of pizza.

Logan watched her, unsure if she really felt that way or if it was just a show for him and Wallace.

***

The week passed uneventfully for both Logan and Veronica. Logan kept a close eye on Veronica, afraid that her outburst the first day of school was still festering under the surface. However, he didn’t see any evidence of it, until the following Wednesday evening.

Logan mentioned his concerns regarding Veronica during his session with Dr. Zimmer on Thursday afternoon.

“I don’t know if I’m just being over-protective or if there really is something big bothering her. Whenever I ask her about it, she says she’s fine. She got mad at me yesterday and we got into a fight. It was ridiculous. She made up stuff just to be mad at me about… clothes left on the floor, dirty dishes in the sink. She told me if I wanted a maid to pick up after me to go back to my own house. Of course, to be a jackass, I told her I would go home.” Logan sighed remembering his actions from the night before.

Logan knew that Dr. Zimmer was waiting for him to continue, a deep blush spread across Logan’s face. “I was really on a roll. I grabbed a bag, threw a pile of my clothes in it and headed for the door. I was all the way to my car before I realized that I left my keys on the counter. I fully intended to go back, get my keys and go. I was pissed that she would even insinuate that I treat her like that. I may be spoiled, but in the time I’ve been at Veronica’s I’ve never and I mean never asked her to wash my clothes or clean up after me.”

Logan paused to take a breath, “When I came back into the apartment I grabbed my keys, but before I made it back out the door I heard her crying. And, of course, I’m a total sucker. I went to her room and she was a mess. She was lying on the floor crying hysterically, sniffling and hiccupping, as if she could barely breathe.” Logan paused again; then continued, “I knelt beside her and she threw herself at me rambling about how I couldn’t leave her, that she didn’t mean it and to please never leave her again. I was so scared. She was holding onto me so tightly, I have bruises on my arms.” Logan looked into the doctors’ face, “Dr. Zimmer, I don’t think she’s as okay as she pretends to be. What’s going to happen when I have to go home? Her dad is scheduled to be released next week. She says she prepared, but after last night, I’m not so sure.”

Dr. Zimmer nodded his head, he couldn’t tell Logan what he and Veronica spoke about in their own sessions, but he did want to reassure him. “You know I would never discuss what goes on in Veronica’s sessions, but I want you to know I’m aware of the situation and so is Veronica. We’re dealing with it.”

Logan let out a long breath in relief. He had been afraid to talk to Dr. Zimmer about this, he wasn’t sure if it was like going behind Veronica’s back, but the knowledge that both Dr. Zimmer and Veronica had discussed this, allayed his nerves immensely.

Dr. Zimmer spoke again, “I can tell that this situation had you worried for Veronica, but how did it make _you_ feel?”

Surprise washed across Logan’s face, he hadn’t been expecting Dr. Zimmer to ask that. “Um, it kind of freaked me out. I know my feelings for Veronica are strong, I love her. And I know she loves me, but her reaction to my leaving was so extreme. I’m scared that I can have such a strong effect on her. How can we ever fight? How can I ever say what I’m really feeling without being afraid she’ll breakdown like that? I don’t want to hurt her, but I have to be able to talk to her about stuff, have an occasional fight. I don’t want to go back to being afraid to tell her how I feel because I’m afraid of her reaction.”

Dr. Zimmer smiled with pride. Logan really had come a long way in the time they’d been together. “I’m glad you see that keeping things bottled up isn’t the way to handle things. I’m also glad to see that you recognize the problems that still exist between you and Veronica. While I want you to know this particular issue has more to do with Veronica than with you, I don’t want you to avoid telling her how you’re feeling because you’re afraid of her reaction. She’s stronger than you realize. She may cry and get upset, but if you do what you did last night; cool off and come back to talk things through, you two will be alright.”

Dr. Zimmer let his words sink in and spoke again. “I would like you to go home tonight and talk to Veronica about this. Tell her how your fight made you feel and how her reactions affected you. Most importantly, listen to each other. Let her tell you how she felt also.”

Logan smiled and nodded at the doctor. “You got it.” With that, they ended their session and Logan left the office.

***

When Logan arrived back at Veronica’s apartment after his session with Dr. Zimmer, Veronica was not there. She had left a note that she had gone to visit her dad and would be back later. Logan took a quick shower and was heating leftover ravioli and extra gravy when Veronica walked through the door.

Logan’s first instinct was to make a snide remark about how he’d be sure not to leave dirty dishes in the sink when he was done, but clamped it down. Instead he greeted her softly, “Hey, I hope ravioli is okay for dinner.”

Just as hesitant, Veronica approached the counter, “Ravioli is perfect.” She paused, not meeting his stare, afraid to ask the question that was on her mind. “Are you still mad at me?”

Logan moved around the counter and took her chin in his hand, forcing her to look at him. “I’m not mad. I’m worried. Last night we had a fight and while I admit I was being overly dramatic in storming out, you fell apart. We’re going to have fights. I can’t be scared that you’re going to completely fall apart every time we fight and I say or do something stupid in the heat of the moment. If I hadn’t had to come back for my keys and went home to cool off for the night what would you have done? Lay on the floor hysterical all night? Or… or something worse?”

Veronica eyes flashed with embarrassment for her actions, “I’m sorry I scared you. I’m sorry I couldn’t hold it together, but I want you to know I would never do anything like _that_ to myself. I let some stuff build up and I took it out on you and when you left I just let it all come out. I promise you, actually, I promised myself, I won’t do that again. I’ll talk to someone, you, Wallace, Dr. Zimmer, someone.”

Logan smiled at Veronica, “That makes me feel better, but it’s not going to stop me from asking if you’re okay. That is, after all, what started the fight. I’m always going to worry about you, not just because of all we’ve been through, but because that’s part of being in a relationship, worrying about the other person, wanting them to be okay.”

Veronica returned Logan’s smile, “I know and I like that you worry about me. I shouldn’t have insisted that I was fine when I wasn’t. I just didn’t even really know what was bothering me. It wasn’t just about people ignoring what’s happened. It’s about just being at school. It’s about everyday stuff. I know you’re worried, but I’m working on it with Dr. Zimmer. I’m not ignoring it, I promise.”

Logan pulled her into a tight hug and went back to setting out dinner for them.

***

The couple fell back into a comfortable routine, going to school, sessions with Dr. Zimmer, and hanging out with their friends. Amidst it all, they’d been preparing for Keith’s homecoming.

Keith spent a lot of time in rehab, but he wanted to be sure that he came home at one hundred percent and nothing less. Keith was looking forward to getting home and getting back to work. Veronica was looking forward to having her father home and healthy. While Logan was exceptionally happy Keith was healthy, he wasn’t quite as happy as everyone else was about his homecoming.

Discreetly, Logan had been moving some of his possessions back to his house that had found their way to Veronica’s. He knew that Veronica noticed, but they did not talk about it. Instead, they focused on the day Keith would come home.

Finally, the day came. Keith came home on a Thursday. Logan and Veronica arrived at the rehab center after school to find Keith ready and waiting to come home. His room, that had been his home for the better part of the summer, was bare and Keith’s belongings were packed into the plastic bags provided by the rehab center with his name written on the sides in marker.

Keith stood immediately upon seeing them. He started gathering his bags, “Let’s get this show on the road,” he crowed.

Veronica giggled, “Dad, have you been sitting here waiting like this all day?”

Keith handed a bag to Logan to carry, “Ever since they signed my release papers. I’m tired of this place. I want my own bed and some real food. Now let’s move.”

The trio left the rehab center without a glance back and headed to the apartment. It had been decided that Logan could stay Keith’s first night back, but he had to go home once the weekend arrived. Logan got the impression that Veronica had done quite a bit of begging and pouting to get that okay-ed.

Logan knew that Keith liked their arrangement of denial and that the illusion that Logan had spent the summer on Veronica’s couch would quickly be shattered if Logan were allowed to stay longer.

Once in the apartment, Keith settled himself in after getting a tongue bath from Back Up, who was so excited to see Keith he knocked over the small table by the couch bounding toward Keith as he came through the door.

They ordered dinner from Victor’s and sat around the living room eating and watching television. They talked about school and therapy, but avoided the topic of Logan returning home after school tomorrow.

After seconds were eaten and all the dishes were put away, Veronica stood announcing she was going to take shower, leaving Logan and Keith behind staring at each other.

They both pretended to be excessively interested in what was on the television.

Finally, Keith spoke, “Logan… you know that I’m so grateful for what you’ve done for Veronica this summer. I don’t know where she’d be right now if you hadn’t been here for her; if you hadn’t convinced her to see a therapist, but you… you can’t live here.”

Logan’s head shot up, his eyes wide with surprise. He answered emphatically “I know that. I never thought I could. I never asked for that.”

Keith now looked confused, “For weeks Veronica has been subtly and not-so-subtly hinting that you should live here.”

Logan rubbed his thumb along his eyebrow, “If she’s been talking to you about it, it hasn’t come from me. I’ll admit I love being here, I’ve never felt more at home, even in my own home, but I know I can’t live here. It would be uncomfortable and inappropriate.” Logan’s voice lowered as if he were speaking to himself, “I thought she’d gotten over this.”

“Gotten over what?” Keith asked.

Logan shifted in his seat, “She used to talk about me staying here even after you came home, but she stopped awhile back. I figured she had realized it wasn’t a realistic possibility. I guess after last week I should have realized she hadn’t given up that idea.”

Again, Keith looked confused, “What happened last week?”

Logan let out a breath realizing he probably shouldn’t have brought up their fight. “Last week we were… arguing over something and I told her I was going home. I left, but came back to get my keys. I found her on the floor, crying hysterically and rambling incoherently about me not leaving her.” Logan hung his head not wanting to see Keith’s reaction.

After a few minutes of silence, Keith finally spoke, “Maybe tomorrow when you go home you should give her some space over the weekend to get used to you not being here. You can talk on the phone, maybe go out somewhere Saturday, but not be here in the apartment all weekend.”

Logan took in Keith’s suggestion and not wanting to displease him Logan agreed.

***

Logan spent an uncomfortable night on the Mars’ couch and he Veronica rode to school in somber silence. As soon as they exited the car, Wallace found them asking about Keith.

Veronica smiled weakly at Logan as they separated to go to their lockers, knowing this would be the last morning they’d come to school together.

The school day went by too quickly for both Logan and Veronica’s liking. Before they knew it, they were heading back to the apartment to gather Logan’s things.

Once back in the apartment, things moved quickly again. Logan had little left to pack, but Veronica kept finding things for him to take with him. Finally, Logan stood alone in Veronica’s room staring. There was nothing left for him to pack, nothing left to show he had once ‘lived’ there. He took one last look and turned away.

Veronica followed Logan to his house in her car. They brought his things into the house and dropped them off in his room. The house was so quiet, making it seem even bigger and emptier than it already did.

They ordered dinner and settled onto the couch to watch a movie.

Neither paid much attention to the television, their eyes locked on each other, their hands grasping to make contact with any piece of bare skin.

“How am I going to sleep tonight without you there to snuggle up next to?” Veronica asked as she pressed her lips to his throat.

“Um… you can snuggle... uhhh,” Logan had a great answer to her question, but he lost all train of thought when Veronica bit down on his clavicle.

He shifted his weight and held her tightly to him as he picked her up to carry her to his room. “We might as well make the most of the time we have left.” He hefted her over his shoulder and smacked her on the ass. He ran the rest of the way to his room with her giggling surrounding them.

***

It was getting late, as Logan and Veronica lay snuggled up to each other, blissfully sated.

Logan brushed a strand of hair off Veronica’s face, “You should get dressed. You still have to drive home and I don’t want your dad complaining I kept you here too late.”

Veronica looked up at him from under hooded eyes, “Maybe I’ll just stay here tonight.”

Logan smirked at her, “Yeah, cause your father won’t show up here wielding a shotgun.”

Veronica stuck out her lip, pouting. She ran her hand over Logan’s chest and it disappeared beneath the covers, as she very lightly teased him.

Logan moaned, his eyes rolling back. He grabbed her wrist, “That’s not going to get me to let you stay here, so don’t start something you’re not going to finish.”

Veronica shook free of Logan’s grasp and rolled out of the bed to dress, “Who said I wouldn’t have finished?” She looked back over her shoulder and quirked an eyebrow at him.

Logan groaned again, imaging what Veronica was proposing. He slipped into his boxers and a t-shirt as Veronica finished dressing.

As he walked her to her car, Logan could feel her mood shifting from joking moments before to reluctance. When he looked down at her he could see her trying to hide the tears silently streaming down her cheeks.

Veronica suddenly, turned and buried her face in his chest, “I don’t want to go home without you.” She cried, as she let the tears fall freely. “Please, please, come back with me. Please.” She begged repeatedly.

Her pleading was wearing Logan down. He couldn’t bear to see her like this, but he also knew that he could not go home with her. “Please, Veronica, it hurts to see you like this. Please,” he was begging too, his voice cracking with emotion, “please, don’t make this so hard.”

They held each other until both had stopped crying. Veronica pulled away wiping at her face, her eyes puffy and her nose red. She saw that Logan too was blinking away tears.

She pulled out her keys as she straightened her shoulders, showing him she could be brave. “I’m fine. I’m going to go home, get into bed and call you, so I can hear your voice as I fall asleep.”

Logan leaned down as she got in the car and placed at tender kiss on her forehead. “And I’m going to go inside, get into bed and wait for your call, so I can fall asleep to your voice.”

He place one more soft kiss on her lips and whispered, “I love you” into her ear.

She whispered it back, started her car and drove out of the driveway.

***

Veronica made it as far as Logan’s street before she started crying again. She cried the entire drive back to her apartment and didn’t even bother to try to hide the tears from her father when she entered her home. She tossed him a look that said she blamed him for this.

She went straight to her room, closing the door tightly. She climbed into bed, phone in hand and called Logan. She snuggled under the covers holding a pillow against her, wishing the thin cotton case and heavy batting was his warm, strong body.


	10. Chapter 10

Saturday came and went, as did Sunday. Each night Veronica called Logan as she climbed into bed and snuggled up to a pillow, pretending the soft cotton was his body. She hoped that hearing his voice would lull her into sleep, but each night as they said goodnight she seemed more awake than ever, missing his touch and warmth.

Monday morning dawned bright and Veronica was out of bed with a bounce in her step. Today was Monday, which meant today was school, which meant today she saw Logan.

She ate breakfast in silence still freezing her father out, even though she knew logically that this _really_ wasn’t his fault. She arrived to school early, hoping to get a few moments with Logan before they had to get to class. However, he called her, told her he overslept and was going to be late.

She stood by her locker waiting for Wallace when she spied Duncan heading down the hall towards her. She buried her head in her locker looking for a notebook, but she felt him stop behind her. Finally, she turned to face him. “Duncan.”

Duncan smiled at her, “Hey, Veronica.”

Veronica waited for him to say something else, to tell her what he wanted, but he just stared, making her feel more uncomfortable. “Uh, is there something you wanted?”

His smile grew wider and he dipped his head shyly. “I noticed you came to school on your own today. I was wondering if I could walk you to class.”

Veronica stared at him like he suddenly grew a third head. “Why would I want that?” she asked disdainfully.

Duncan tried to take her hand. “Come on, walk with me.”

Veronica rolled her eyes at him and batted his hand away. “Forget it. I don’t know why you’d think I’d walk with you, but if you think just because Logan’s not here I’m just gonna fall into your arms, then you are dumber than I thought.” She slammed her locker shut and walked passed him without a second look.

***

Veronica saw Logan in Journalism and then again at lunch. Each time she saw him, her spirit seemed to lift and her day seemed a little more bearable. She hated that she was such a cliché, but Logan really did make her life brighter.

After school Logan and Veronica went down to the beach and hung out. It became their daily routine, school, then hanging out. Sometimes they went to the beach, others they hung out helping Keith getting Mars Investigations back on track. Most often they wound up at one or another’s home watching television and doing homework. Veronica [i]seemed[/i] to be handling their separation well.

***

About two weeks after Logan moved back home and Keith had returned to the apartment, Veronica and Wallace sat at Java the Hut. They had ordered coffee and fudge peanut butter pie. Wallace watched with concern as Veronica played with her piece of dessert pushing it around on her plate.

“Are you gonna eat that or just play with it?”

Veronica looked up, startled out of her thoughts. She glanced down at the gooey mess on her plate and pushed it away. “I’m just not that hungry. You can have it if you want.”

Wallace continued to take in her demeanor. “Are you okay, V? You’re awfully quiet and I’ve never seen you turn down dessert before.”

Veronica tried to recover and pasted a smile on her face. “I’m fine. I’m just thinking about all the work that has to be done down at the office and getting back into the swing of school.”

Still trying to read how Veronica was feeling, Wallace asked, “So, everything’s alright at home and with Logan?”

Veronica only hesitated for a moment. “Everything is _fine_.” She brought a small fork-full of pie to her mouth. “I promise Wallace, I’m handling everything.”

Wallace dropped the subject, knowing that Veronica wouldn’t talk about it anymore and went back to his coffee.

***

On Monday Veronica came home from school to quickly walk Back Up before going downtown for her appointment with Dr. Zimmer. After a brief walk along the beach, Veronica returned to her apartment. Just as she released Back Up from the leash, Keith walked in the door. He smiled brightly, “Hi, honey. How’s it going?”

Veronica shrugged, barely looking at him. She mumbled, “Fine.” Then walked quickly back to her room to grab her bag. She walked back through the living room toward the front door. Keith stopped her with another question from his place on the couch. “Where are you heading? Will you be home for dinner?”

Veronica continued to face the door. “I’ve got my appointment with Dr. Zimmer. I don’t know when I’ll be home.”

Before Keith could ask her another question, she was out the door, leaving her father in acute distress.

***

Veronica had been talking to Dr. Zimmer for almost a half hour and she’d successfully steered the conversation away from both Logan and her dad. She rambled on about her classes and work, carefully avoiding anything the doctor really wanted to talk about. Finally, with only fifteen minutes left in their session, Dr. Zimmer forced the topic of her dad.

“How are things at home, Veronica?”

Veronica gave a tight smile and an ambiguous answer. “Good, my dad’s home and healthy. What else could I ask for?”

Dr. Zimmer nodded. “Okay, I meant more along the lines of... how has it been for you? He was hurt pretty badly. Having him home and doing all the things he used to do...has there been an adjustment period?”

Veronica shrugged her shoulders stiffly. “It’s fine. It’s good to see him up and around. I’m glad he’s home.”

Dr. Zimmer took in her rigid posture, wrote in his notepad and then changed the subject. “Logan’s returned home. How has that been these last two weeks?” He watched as Veronica’s posture only relaxed slightly.

Her eyes flitted away and then back, failing to meet Dr. Zimmer’s. “It was hard at first. I didn’t want him to go, but I’m getting used to it.”

Dr. Zimmer focused in closer. “Used to it? You’ve been saying that for two weeks now. Are you really getting used to it?

Veronica sat in silence, not having an answer for him.

Dr. Zimmer tried a different tactic. “How are you sleeping, Veronica?”

Veronica shifted nervously on the couch. “Oh, fine… fine. I get my eight hours a night.”

Dr. Zimmer nodded again and wrote on his notepad. “So, you’re feeling good? You’re handling the changes in your life?”

Veronica anxiously tucked her hair behind her ear and answered just a little too perkily. “Yeah, I’m feeling good. I think I’m handling things as they come. We talked about this before, Doc. I’m working things out.”

Dr. Zimmer tried once more to get Veronica to open up about anything other than the innocuous chit-chat they’d engaged in for the last forty-five minutes. “Anything else going on? Anything stressful? Anything pleasant?”

Veronica sighed; she came up with a topic just to get him to stop asking about Logan and her dad. “Duncan started to come around again. He knows Logan moved back to his house. He must think if can catch me enough times alone that I’ll see things his way. He’s called a bunch of times too. I’m handling it though. I just keep telling him to leave me alone, that I’m not interested. Everything’s under control.”

Dr. Zimmer wrote some more in his notepad, then looked Veronica straight in the eye, his gaze pinning her down, trying to guilt her into a response. “Well, Veronica, it sounds like you’re really doing alright. I’m glad to see everything falling into place. You’ve taken stressful situations in stride. You’re really making progress.”

Veronica shifted uncomfortably and smiled weakly. “Uh yeah… everything’s working out.”

Dr. Zimmer stood, indicating time was up. “Well then, I’ll see you next week.”

Veronica nodded and left.

Dr. Zimmer looked at his schedule; Veronica had been his last appointment of the day. He sat at his desk looking over his notes on Veronica, thinking about how he should handle their next session. The things she told him rung in his ears, increasing the worry he now let openly mar his face.

About fifteen minutes passed before a small knock reverberated through the door.

“Come in.”

The door creaked open and Veronica’s head popped in.

Dr. Zimmer stood. “Veronica? Did you forget something?”

Veronica stood in the middle of his office, her chin quivering and her eyes filled with tears. “I’m lying. I’m lying… lying… lying about everything. I’m…” Her voice cracked and she drew in a ragged breath. “I’m not okay.”

Dr. Zimmer came around his desk and led Veronica back to sit on the couch. He let her sob quietly, waiting for her to calm down and speak again. She wiped at her eyes with a tissue and through unsteady breaths started to speak. “It feels like everything is falling apart. Logan had to go home and I miss him. My dad is home, but I can’t talk to him. Even in our small apartment he seems so far away. I can’t handle it. I tried, but I just can’t. It isn’t working.” She took a huge shuddering breath before continuing. “This thing with Duncan is getting worse. He won’t leave me alone and it’s just another thing that I can’t handle. I c-c-can’t do it.” Her voice broke and the sobbing started again.

Dr. Zimmer handed her another tissue. “Now, now Veronica, no one said this was going to be easy.”

Veronica swiped angrily at her tears. “Logan is fine. He just went home and is fine! I miss him all the time even when I’m with him because I know he has to go home eventually. At night I can’t sleep because I want him to be there to hold me and all I can do is cry. It’s not fair! It’s just not fair!”

Dr. Zimmer smiled softly. “Is Logan really fine, Veronica? Doesn’t he tell you how much he misses you? How hard it is for him to go home to his empty house every evening? To be alone?”

Veronica thought about it for a long moment, answering hesitantly. “Yes.”

“Have you told him how you’re feeling? Have you told anyone how you’re feeling?”

Veronica dropped her head a meek ‘no’ passed her lips. “I want to be okay, doctor. I just want to be normal.”

Dr. Zimmer sighed. “Veronica, it’s okay for things to _not_ be okay. It’s _normal_ to be upset sometimes and it’s _normal_ to have to talk about stuff. Keeping your feelings bottled up will only make it harder. Talk to Logan about how you feel. Part of being in a relationship is sharing with each other. I guarantee if you told Logan how you felt, if you two talked about it together, you’d see that you both are feeling some of the same things and you wouldn’t feel so alone.”

Veronica sniffled and nodded her head.

Dr. Zimmer pushed on. “I don’t have all the answers, but we haven’t spent too much time talking about your dad since he came home. It’s something we can address. Try to figure out why you’re having a hard time reconnecting with him now that he’s home. You need to talk though, to me, to Logan, to your dad, whoever it is that can help you sort out your feelings. Today you sat in this office for forty-five minutes trying to convince me that everything was fine. Pretending that things are fine when they aren’t is never the answer. Do you understand that, Veronica?”

Veronica still sat sniffling, rubbing a tissue at her red nose and puffy eyes. “Yes,” she paused taking a steadying breath. “What about Duncan? How can talking about him make dealing with him easier? If I tell Logan or even Wallace what he’s been up to they’ll seriously go after him. I don’t want anyone to get hurt.”

Dr. Zimmer scratched at his jaw. “Honestly, Veronica, I don’t know. I think it might be time to do something other than just avoiding him. You need to have a talk with him. I suggest you bring your friend Wallace with you so you don’t have to go alone. Meet at school or at the coffeehouse you like and explain to him calmly that you’re not interested, explain to him without getting angry or yelling why you do not want to be with him and why you are with Logan. How his actions are hurting you. Then see how things go from there.”

Veronica looked up her eyes wide. “You really think I should meet with him? Maybe I can just keep avoiding him.”

Dr. Zimmer shook his head. “Veronica, aren’t you already doing that? You should not have to alter your behavior just because he cannot control his own. It really is better for you to face things rather than run from them. A stop should be put to it before things get too far out of hand.”

Veronica nodded, “Alright, I guess you’re right. I should tell Logan about this, right?”

Dr. Zimmer looked sharply at her. “Yes, Veronica, tell him about it. I know he’ll be upset with Duncan’s actions and I know he’ll want to go with you, but you have to explain to him that you need to do this on your own.”

A long silence filled the room before Veronica spoke again. She sighed, her shoulders slumping. “I thought I was getting better.”

Dr. Zimmer smiled warmly. “Veronica, you are better. You came back here today, didn’t you? We’re talking about this, aren’t we? Do you feel better now than you did when you came in?”

Veronica shrugged her shoulders. “I guess. I just didn’t want to feel that way ever again. I don’t like being out of control.”

Dr. Zimmer nodded. “No one likes to feel out of control, but not everything in life is controllable. We take charge of what we can and have to roll with the rest of it. I can’t promise you’ll never feel like this again. I can’t promise that things won’t get out of control, but I can promise that I’ll be here to listen, as I’m sure will be your father or Logan or your friend Wallace, if you just let them. We talked about how you feel the need to do everything on your own. And what did we say about it?”

Veronica relaxed into the couch. “That doing to things on my own is alright, but everyone needs help sometimes and it’s not bad to ask for it.”

Dr. Zimmer smiled. “Good, I’m glad you haven’t forgotten _everything_ we’ve talked about.”

Veronica looked up, slightly amused. “Dr. Zimmer, did you just make a joke?”

Dr. Zimmer’s smile broadened. “I think I just might have. Are you ready to go home?”

Veronica had calmed and was feeling better. “Yeah, I feel better. I’m sorry I took up so much time.”

Dr. Zimmer waved her off. “Don’t be, I’m always here.”

Veronica nodded and stood. “I promise to talk to Logan about how I’m feeling and I’ll ask Wallace to come with me to talk to Duncan. I don’t know what to do about my dad though. I just don’t know how to talk to him anymore.”

Dr. Zimmer nodded, “Well we’ll spend as long as you need figuring it out, just try to relax, Veronica. We’ll work on things and you’ll be alright.”

Veronica smiled broadly at him, said goodbye and left. He went back around to his desk where he had left his notebook when Veronica returned. He crossed out the notes he made after she left the first time and started writing again.

***

Veronica left Dr. Zimmer’s office feeling drained, but some how lighter. She sat in her car for a moment before dialing her cell phone.

Logan answered on the second ring. “Hey, Baby, what’s up?”

Veronica’s voice quivered slightly. “Are you at home?”

Concern immediately laced Logan’s tone. “Yeah, what’s going on, Veronica? Is everything alright?”

Veronica steadied her voice. “Everything’s alright… now, but I need to talk to you. Can I come over?”

Logan breathed a sigh of relief. “Of course, come over. I’ll be waiting.”

Veronica snapped her phone shut; a broad smile in place on her face. She turned the key and drove towards Logan’s place.

***

Veronica arrived at Logan’s house and sat in the driveway for a full five minutes before she got out of the car and headed for the door. Logan must have been waiting for her, because before she could even raise her hand to knock, the door flew open. Logan casually leaned against the door frame, but the concern in his eyes belied his easy demeanor.

“Hey Baby, come in.”

They walked into the living room. Veronica plopped onto the couch. Logan stood for a moment taking in her obvious exhaustion. Finally, he sat next to her and she crawled into his arms, snuggling into his chest.

He smoothed her hair back. “How was your session with Dr. Zimmer? Did something happen?”

Veronica sighed before pulling back a little to look into his eyes. “Yeah.” She breathed deep once more. “I haven’t exactly been handling everything as well as I tried to make everyone believe.”

Logan let out a small breath and closed his eyes briefly. “I know.”

Surprise filled her face. “You knew?”

Logan tightened his embrace around her. “I was waiting for you to tell me. I thought we were passed the keeping things from each other phase.”

Veronica was silent for a moment, ignoring the slight accusatory tone in Logan’s voice. “I was missing you so much. I was trying to be strong. I didn’t want you to think I couldn’t handle it. I wanted to be okay for you.”

Logan ran his hand over her arm. “Veronica, I know you’re strong. I know you can do anything, but I don’t expect you to perfect. Trust me, I’m not perfect. It’s hard for me too. I just want you to tell me how you’re feeling.”

Veronica cuddled closer to him, absorbing his warmth. “I know it’s been hard for you because you’ve told me it’s been hard. You told me how you hate the quiet in this house. How you feel alone sometimes, but I’ve been burying what I’ve been feeling and it’s just building up. I just wanted everything to be normal.” She felt Logan start, but she cut off his comment. “It’s not just stuff about missing you either. I haven’t been able to talk to my father since he’s come home. I made it about him being home and you leaving, but I’m just scared to be so close to him and really losing him. I’m afraid to get too close again and risk losing him for real.” She paused gathering her strength to tell him about Duncan. “Duncan’s been coming around too.”

She felt him stiffen and she immediately held him tight, trying to get him to relax. “He calls sometimes and catches me at school, wanting to eat lunch together or walk with me to class. Once or twice he’s shown up at the beach when I’m out walking Back Up. I always tell him to go away, but he's still not taking the hint.”

Veronica could feel the tension rolling off Logan in waves. She knew he’d be upset hearing about Duncan, but at least he wasn't yelling. “Please don’t get upset. I don’t want you fighting with Duncan. That’s why I didn’t say anything before. He’s your best friend, Logan. I don’t want you to fight over me. I’m going to put an end to it. Dr. Zimmer suggested I sit down and talk to him.”

Logan pulled out of Veronica’s embrace, rigid with irritation. “Veronica, you don’t have to try and protect me. I’m a big boy and I can choose who I want to be friends with and who I don’t want to be friends with. Duncan and I may have been friends, but if he can act the way he’s been acting and I’m not just talking about they way he’s been with you. I don’t think he’s my best anything anymore.”

Veronica was surprised at Logan’s statement. “Logan, don’t cut him off just because of me.”

Logan’s eyes flashed with distress. “Veronica, this isn’t about you. I’m not the one who’s cutting him off. He hasn’t once tried to talk to me since that day in your apartment. Even before that he never tried to get in contact with me after everything went down with Aaron.”

Veronica tried to pull him back to her, but he stayed firm in his seat.

“I’m going with you when you talk to him.”

Veronica grabbed his hand and forced him to look at her. “Logan, I have to do this myself. You being there will not help.”

Logan’s gaze stayed unreadable. “I won’t let you go to talk to him alone.”

Veronica sighed, “Dr. Zimmer doesn’t want me to go alone either, but he suggested taking Wallace.”

Logan shook his head, standing firm. “Veronica, I get that you don’t want me to fight with him, but I can control myself. I’m going too.”

Veronica stood her ground as well. “You being there will just get him riled up. He needs to listen to me and not be distracted by you. And I really need to do this on my own. Wallace will take care of me, you know that.”

Veronica felt Logan loosen up slightly. “I’m going to take care of this and if he still won’t listen, then I promise to let you help me out with him.”

Logan relaxed back into the couch, still concerned, but acquiescing to Veronica, _for now_. “Fine, but I want to know when you go to talk to him and you have to promise me you’ll meet him someplace public, please.”

Veronica was already nodding her head. “I will. I planned on talking to him at the Hut. Don’t worry, it’ll be fine.”

Logan squeezed her hand. “I know it will.” Logan ran his free hand through his hair. “I just don’t want you to hold back because you think it’ll be better for me. I promise everything will be okay as long as we talk to each other.”

Veronica giggled, “That’s what Dr. Zimmer said.”

Logan preened. “See, I know what I’m talking about. Listen to me, sweetheart, and we’ll be okay.” He grabbed her and started to tickle her ribs. Veronica giggled, and tried to struggle away. She ended up on her back, Logan’s body pressing her into the couch, and him softly kissing her neck; her giggles dissolved into a satisfied sigh.


End file.
